So, last year was pretty rough on her, she was being bullied at school and since she only had one real good friend to rely on (a pansexual girl) she was also being labeled as gay by her tormentors . She told me this and said she was 100% sure she was not gay and that she liked boys. Now, we are latinos and catholic, and my husband sometimes would make homophobic jokes, and i must admit that i myself do not want her to be gay. I told her we would love her no matter what, and if she was gay i would confront my fears and be by her side, because i know there is too much hate for the community and our house would be a safe haven for her. That was last year, and although she claimed she was not gay, i still had my suspicions. Last week, my husband's cousin came over and told my husband we need to talk to my daughter as she had come out as bi to his daughter. So once again i talked to her and reassured her, if she needed to say something, i would love her and we would navigate this together, once again she said she was straight. Her cousin loves drama, so i thought she had made it up. And then last night we were driving home and when we were about to arrive she just blurted it out: "mommy, i'm bi and i like a girl". So we arrived home but we stayed in the car, i asked her how she knew that she was bi and not gay (she is 15). She said she had crushes on boys before, but since the beginning of the school year she had a crush on this girl. She is not being bullied anymore, and she has 2 good friends now, one of them identifies as bi and had a girlfriend in middleschool. So, back to last night. I did not know what to tell her, and i told her as much, i told her i loved her and i thanked her for trusting me. I told her i did not know much about the subject but i would do my best to understand it so that i could help her in anything she needed. I asked how she felt and she said she was fine, she had already made her mind to not date anyone now and wait until she leaves for college ( i don't know if this is so that she can come out as gay easier), and she knew this girl she was crushing on was straight so nothing would come of it. I must admit i am afraid for her, the cousin and his family has switched gears, the daughter has not been able to spend the night (sleepovers were a thing between them) and i know it's because they are afraid my daughter would do something to her. My daughter feels inadequate most of the time, she sees her cousin being super popular and she only has 2 friends. So being "rejected" in a way by her cousin because of how she identifies, can't help her in her self esteem. And this has always been my concern, that she would be alienated because of who she loves. I'm scared and i don't know what to do. I am also feeling alone because she asked me NOT to tell her daddy. I re-assured her that even despite how he might feel about gay, he loved her and he would support her. But ultimately i think she has to be able to choose who she tells and when. So i haven't said a word to him. I asked if she had told anyone and she said she had only told the cousin, the 2 friends and now me. She was afraid one of the friends would slip up at some point because that is just how she is. So what do i say to her? where do i go from here? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MXe11c
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