My very well-behaved son was kicked out of preschool because he lacks social and language skills.

My son is 3 turning 4 soon. He started K3 in August at a large private school (K3-12). Prior to that, he was only around other kids on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings with his mom (my wife). We think he's pretty smart, of course, but he's still working on formulating his sentences. He can count to twenty and name all the colors and tell you what a horse sounds like but if he wants a car, he will just point and say "car" not "I want that car."We had hoped this preschool would help him with skills like taking turns and learning how to play with others, but the preschool director said he's got to go because he doesn't do these things well.He's been in language therapy and we really feel he's getting better but apparently it's not fast enough for the school. The director said she asked him what color a fence was and he just said "fence!" I know my son and I know if I ask him again and say, "Yes, it's a fence but what COLOR is it?" he would answer me correctly.The preschool director said they passed around a hat for the letter "H" and then they passed around a horse. My son was still so excited about the hat and said "hat" interrupting the new discussion about the horse and they didn't like that. They said this happens with him all the time. I can't help but think, "Whoa! He's like three years old, people, and has only been around kids on a daily basis for two months now. Shouldn't this be expected and handled accordingly?"Three weeks after school started they had us sign him up for the language therapy which he goes to 2x week. Then a month later, they said they were worried about him because he still doesn't understand their questions and can't tell them how he's feeling. But that's WHY we have him in preschool- to help us help him learn these things as he's around other kids, and how to communicate.Now they're telling us he needs occupational therapy and that we need him tested for autism and all this other stuff because they're not equipped to meet his special needs.We have several friends (who have several older kids of their own) who know our son well and they're just as shocked as we are that he got kicked out. They do agree that he's a little behind on his social and language skills but he's a freakin' toddler and they're the ones telling us that preschool is supposed to help in that.We shared his language evaluation with his pediatrician and she said that based on the school's findings, if we don't feel there is something wrong with him, she doesn't see the urgency in seeing him before his annual exam the first week of January. She agreed we should give him more time to get acclimated to preschool and learn from the other kids before we start worrying that he has real learning disabilities. We thought that was good advice so we took it.One of our good friends is a VPK teacher (who has also taught our son in Sunday school) and even she wonders if our son's preschool standards might be too high for 3-year olds. She said they would never kick our son out of her school for the reasons he was kicked out of his. (I wish we could enroll him at her school but it's too far from us!)He's our only son and so this is all new to us. So knowing what we know now, we wonder if it's common nowadays for toddlers to get kicked out of preschool because they lack social and language skills. Do preschools not work with kids and teach them this stuff because they expect kids to have it figured out already?I always thought if a kid got kicked out of preschool, it's was probably due to behavioral problems- which our son doesn't have in the slightest. We are so blessed he's such an obedient child. He doesn't throw tantrums but still may get slightly upset if he has to stop playing to do something else. But then he gets over it himself and forgets he was ever upset.His preschool teachers agree he has absolutely no behavioral problems but they still say he's behind on sharing, taking turns, initiating play with other kids, answering their questions and communicating. We're slowly learning he gets somewhat shy around others because he has no problems answering questions and communicating with his mom and me or other people we know and their kids.Only in the last three weeks has he learned to finally say "yes" to a question like, "Do you need to potty?" instead of just repeating "Potty" as his "yes."We agree he's been slow at learning a proper answer to many questions, and he still does the echolalia thing for questions he doesn't understand, but it just seems to us that his preschool (or ex-preschool, I should say) thinks he's suuuuuuuper sloooooooow in almost all aspects of his social and communication skills compared to all the other kids.My son just didn't start school as advanced as the other kids. At least, that's our take. Either he's truthfully way behind or the other kids are all way advanced, but we believe he's somewhere in the middle and maybe little behind.Given this limited info, do you think they're right and he needs a lot of professional help with these things and he's not just growing as toddlers grow? If so, then we'll consider your words and get him the appropriate help. If not, please oh please encourage us.I think it was a good thing they kicked him out because I don't want him to be where they're unwilling to teach him. I just love him more than anything and want the best for him so wherever he needs to be and whatever I can do, I want to do it. We thought this school was going to help us in that but maybe we made the wrong decision in sending him to this particular school?Thanks in advance! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36lNpi7