What to do about my kid being rude to visitors who are also rude?

I have a dear friend who has 3 kids around the same age as mine. Her kids tend to be very loud, and they're very rough with toys. In past visits, they have occasionally broken a toy or two. There was one toy in particular that was broken on purpose by their little 5 yr old. My son was very upset about it but tried to be polite when they said they'd fix it or buy a new one. It was a $20 toy, so not really expensive. They didn't replace it, but I didn't really think too much about it either. Fast forward to today, my 7 yr old saw them pull in the driveway and started yelling he hates them and packing up his toys locking them in the master bedroom. They walked in to him packing up every single toy and saying they're not allowed to play with them. I explained he's having a rough day, which is true, and got all the younger kid's toys out for them. My son wouldn't let them sit on his bed, and didn't want to play with them the entire time they were here. Their family is going through a really tough time right now, and I felt terrible. They went outside to play. One of the boys took a golf club and broke something of my husbands that's worth a couple hundred dollars. My son was screaming that it was one of my friends boys that broke it. (Im guessing it probably was, but it was one kids word against another). My son was very rude. My boys are usually hospitable and polite. how do I deal with this bad behavior while still respecting my son's obvious attempt to set boundaries? And of course I can't force him to be friends with anyone, but he needs to be polite and hospitable because they're good friends of mine, and our families have been close for a long time. Our kids have had some great times together too, and they can have a lot of fun. So how do I manage this going forward? And what kind of consequences should my son be experiencing because of his behavior? I told him he has lots of friends over from school who make big messes, and they're loud and sometimes cause trouble, but I'm still polite and welcoming because they're his friends and they're having a good time, and I said I expect the same from him for my friends. Is that right? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/345fKXT