Never thought I'd terminate a pregnancy in my 30's.

I am coming to r/Parenting because I wasn't able to find any experiences from mothers who have had VAGINAL births and have had abortions AFTER having kids.I have never had an abortion it just so happens my first unwanted pregnancy turns up when I am already married with children. My husband and I have 2 kids 8 and 1. I was about to put an IUD in this month and turned up pregnant. I was numb for the first two days in sheer panic and disappointment. Neither of us are looking to expand our family for ALL reasons (from financial to medical). Scheduled a termination for next week which puts me at 4 weeks - thankfully the clinic terminates this early. I am looking to hear from any mothers who have had vaginal deliveries and went through a termination after. I have bad panic and anxiety disorder I haven't been able to sleep or eat since scheduling the procedure, the anticipation is killing me. How did you find it pain wise? (I am not taking any sedatives or pain killers aside from lidocaine shots into the cervix to numb it) - I cannot take any drugs because it literally throws me into sheer panic (I have a control problem and deathly afraid of nausea and vomiting that pills and sedation cause). Here is a bonus: to induce my last pregnancy I had 7 stretch and sweeps by the midwife...who pretty much had her fist in my cervix to try and start labour...are cervixes that have been through vaginal deliveries easier to dilate during early termination?Any stories would really help PM me if you would like to be private . via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2woGALd