Hey there,I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible but I am the aunt to a 9 year old boy and 8 year old girl. They came to live with my brother (their father), my fiance and myself full time about a month ago, after their mother attempted suicide for the second time.A little context: the mother has many mental health issues (diagnosed with a cluster B personality disorder) made worse by alcoholism, drugs and her pathological lying. While obviously my brother played a big part in their conception, she is one of those women that lie about being on contraception or poke holes in a condom. She was about 19 when she had the boy. She also has 2 other kids with another guy. She hits her partners first, then calls the police to report domestic abuse. We have an affidavit stating she had done meth around the kids and was a protitute. The amount of stories about this woman would boggle you but my hate for her isn't why I'm here.After she got out of the hospital for the first suicide attempt, we invited her to live in our amazingly priced but big townhouse with the intention that she can eventually take the lease over so her kids could move back with her (They were with the other aunt after child protective services got involved). That month she lived there was fucked up. She was wasted every day, she lied to us about finding a job and she would go out with her pedophile boyfriend instead. While she was there though she would talk about how her children are her life and what an amazing mother she is. She missed every visit with them for 3 months. She told me my nephew was autistic and a genius and straight up said she treats him special.After the second suicide attempt, while she was with us, child protective services decided it's in their best interest for the kids to live with us since we're not fucked in the head. It was originally going to be a 3 month process but the Aunt was also doing meth and the kids had to leave ASAP. Because im a girl and i made the least monet, i was the one that had to quit my job and watch the kids until school starts.Now I'm a childless 25 year old introvert that never liked Kids, even when I was a kid. I like to work and be super independent. Hell, I was the youngest person I knew in my life before they were born. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing and even just making them food gives me anxiety because they want me to make them something special but because of the sudden nature of the situation, we are financially struggling. Hard.My nephew is my biggest issue. He is not autistic. At all (he's been tested). But the mother is so fucked that she kept pushing her agenda on him and made him think he has to act out to be special. He cries when his sister touches him after he hits her. He hits her then says it's because he's the most sensitive boy in the school. He wants everything and everyone to catered to his will. He does not talk with people, he talks AT them. It's not that he's incapable, but he's doing it for attention. I know that for a fact. He pretends to be this way because his mommy nourished it into him. When in her care, he was abusive to other children at school and would cry after he got in trouble. What would she Do? Go the the school and yell at them and say that they don't know what they're doing and that he needs special treatment because shes obsessed with this autism thing. Instead of teaching in to write better (he cries because his handwriting sucks), she would say that messy handwriting is a sign of brilliance, instead of telling him he needs to practice.She kind of fucked this poor kid up and I need advice on how to reprogram this behaviour. He will be going to therapy but that won't be for another month.I've tried talking to him and explaining why he's wrong to think girls are stupid because they wear makeup instead of saving nature, but he can't admit he's wrong because his mommy told him he's the smarter boy ever who's always right. It literally hurts him when I try to tell him why he's wrong because he can't handle a woman being anything other than a stay at home mom. He does not act this way to his dad and my fiance. He expects me to feed him and his ego by giving him special attention and love. I ain't doing that. I'm not only not that kind of person, but I know it will be toxic for him at this age.Note: I may not like kids but I love them and do my best by giving them as much love and emotional support as i can. When it's granted, I tell them they're awesome and praise their hard work and good behaviours. I give them lots of hugs and kisses because I also know kids need that safe space and feel like they're wanted.I'm sorry for the rant but I didn't know how to explain the situation properly without it.Is there any advice or something someone can give me? I would greatly appreciate it! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2gtievV
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