Tuesday 29 August 2017

Is my 2 year old a psychopath? Exaggerating, I hope, but could use some reassurance / tips!


Holy dramatic title, batman!My two year old has always been a hitter. (And a whiner, but that's neither here nor there). However in the last few weeks, Kiddo#2 is really upping the ante re: hitting. The part that alarms me, though, is that the hitting seems to come totally out of the blue, and does not seem to be a replacement for communicating, or coming at a time when Kiddo2 is angry. Examples (several as relayed to me by his nanny):At a music class last week, Kiddo2 was playing with music sticks along with the rest of the kids. Tapping to the beat. Then just turns around and cracks a crawling 6mo on the skull and goes to back to tapping the sticks. [Nanny immediately removed Kiddo2 to talk about not hurting / made Kiddo2 go apologize / then left music. This is normally Kiddo2's favorite class.]Toward the end of last week, at an indoor play area. Kiddo2 is playing with some friends, ranging from 1-3. Has a truck in hand; nanny is talking to another mom, and sees Kiddo2 all of a sudden run about 5 feet away to hit a friend with the truck. [Nanny immediately checks on kid, makes my Kiddo2 apologize, they leave]Yesterday, Kiddo2 is with nanny at the library in the morning. Gets to play with a soft car toy. Takes it, walks 2 feet away, hits a 1 year old in the head with it. [Nanny immediately makes Kiddo2 apologize and leaves the library / no more play time and no more books]I also have a 4 yo, we'll call Kiddo1. In the afternoon yesterday, nanny is washing up lunch dishes. Kiddo1 is playing alone. Nanny all of a sudden hears Kiddo1 telling Kiddo2 to stop, then that quickly escalates to Kiddo1 shrieking that Kiddo2 is hurting them. Nanny comes over to find Kiddo2 is punching at Kiddo1's face and pulling Kiddo1's hair really hard. [Nanny immediately takes Kiddo2 to "calm down room" aka time out aka kids' bedroom, and later goes to talk to him about being gentle / not hitting / makes him apologize.I come home yesterday evening, and as Nanny is relaying this right a few minutes after I walk in the door, Kiddo2 comes over and starts kicking Kiddo1. [I pick Kiddo2 up and immediately bring Kiddo2 to calm down room / timeout, say can't come out until I come retrieve them; I don't talk to Kiddo2 about what happened until after time out is done, per advice I read here somewhere re: even a negative talk being attention/reinforcement in the moment]So on the one hand... I get that two year olds sometimes hit, or even bite. On the other... Kiddo2 doesn't seem angry, or upset, or to find it funny when he's doing this. There's no frustration or laughing or anything. It's just... totally out of the blue, with not much emotion from him.So part of me thinks "ok look he's a kid, don't freak out". The other part of me - the part that's googled too much - knows that sometimes kids show "callous and unemotional" traits as toddlers, and worries that I can't seem to find ANY reason for these things to a) be happening and b) be escalating.So any feedback, parents-who've-been-in-this-longer-than-me? Any ideas for things to watch out for that might actually be a trigger we're not spotting? Or ways to better handle this? Or just reassurances that I shouldn't read google and this is totally normal even with the lack of emotion we're seeing as Kiddo2 is doing these things?!Thanks in advance for any insight. Here's hoping I'm overthinking this and Kiddo2 isn't actually a little psychopath in the making. Assuming that's the case, I should totally print this post for the memory book to give Kiddo2 when it's time for their own kids ;-) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2voHABr

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