Why does quiet = good ?

Does it bother or disturb anyone else that quiet kids in our society automatically equal good kids? Like it doesn't matter at all what goes on inside a child's mind and soul..all that matters is how they behave on the outside. I was a very quiet kid and I can guarantee you I was far from okay on the inside..but no, all that mattered was that I was quiet and compliant. Nothing else. Then as I got older you wouldn't believe the amount of criticizing and judgement I got from people about how quiet I was. It's very confusing to someone to being conditioned as a child that all that matters is being quiet and compliant but then are ridiculed non stop as an adult for the exact same thing. Like where is the line? Shouldn't we be parenting kids the way we want them to be when they grow up and for the long term ? Not just the way we want them now? It's hard to suddenly learn how to interact and socialize when all you've ever been taught is to shut up and be quiet. I don't think it's a coincidence that a huge amount of adults are socially inept and have no clue how to open up or communicate properly with other people, because they were never taught how to open up and communicate effectively when they were little! . I know some kids are naturally quiet, and I'm not saying all quiet kids aren't good kids, I'm just saying that if kids are a bit louder and more outspoken why are those the kids that get judged so much? Naturally quiet kids or kids that are quiet from abuse are constantly praised and looked at as " good" yet the naturally more out there, loud kids are looked down on. It doesn't seem fair to me. Shouldn't it be a good thing for a child to be able to stand up for themselves and have their own opinion? They deserve to have a voice too. That's how they learn and grow. Why should kids have to go along with what someone says just because they're an adult? Not all adults know better or know what's best, trust me. Don't we want competent kids that can think for themselves? I think this whole conditioning of quiet= good needs to stop. A lot of quiet kids are probably actually very hurting and disturbed on the inside but nobody cares about that. Allowing kids to have emotions is healthy. Teaching them to hold everything in at all times and just be compliant just because , definitely isn't healthy and can lead to a lot of issues later on in life.Teaching kids that all that matters is to be quiet isn't the way to go about things. Let's start thinking critically about how we treat kids and what the outcome is. Kids deserve respect and to be treated good no matter what their natural temperament. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2zIqilZ