My wife and I just found out our daughter @16 weeks no longer had a heartbeat.

Not sure if this sub is for this type or post. Can someone who has gone through this please tell me how you maintained? How do you deal?We just found out yesterday. The whole reason we even went was to confirm the gender. She would have been our second child, and we wanted the gender to be a surprise. My wife’s eyes were closed as the ultrasound tech searched and asked the same typical questions that were asked every appointment. She wanted the tech to write down the gender on a the pictures we usually get after the appointment so that we could find out as a family.I was sitting in the car outside with our 11 month old son when she found out, the tech left the room and returned with the OB. They saw fluid all around her, in her body, and in her brain. They couldn’t find a heartbeat and the OB simply said “Sorry “ and left the room. I was on FaceTime with my mother and sister when my wife ran up to the car sobbing. I was telling my mother about the Mother’s Day gift I got for my wife. After that it’s just been a lot of talking and some crying. It’s amazing how something like this can bring you closer together. If not for my son crawling around, being goofy, too busy, and all smiles I don’t think either of us would have gotten out of bed these last two days. We still have a process ahead of us, apparently finding out about a miscarriage is only half the battle.I’m doing all that I can for my wife, and I think this far we’ve been as good as we can. I’m scared for her to miscarry at home, and that she might blame herself for all this. All I think about is how so focused on all the logistics of having another child we were that we failed to appreciate the fact that nothing is given, and anything can happen. I was so hung up on wanting another boy and being hung up on the fact I’d have to move my mother in law in and all the headaches that came with that. I didn’t even touch her belly, I didn’t talk to my daughter like I did with my first born. I didn’t take extra care to kiss her belly before I left for work. She’s gone. The night before I couldn’t sleep, I was plotting on how to move us into a bigger place, building a classroom for the kids for homeschooling, and everything that my wife and I had talked about in the months leading up to this. I made room in my heart for them. I don’t care how far along we were, she was ours and we love her. She has a name, we will remember her and carry her with us. Please pray for us, we both need strength. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aFIRnI