Struggling With my relationship/partnership with my common law spouse. We have a 2.5 Yo and a 2 month old. There’s a lot of resentment towards him right now and I find myself saying ‘I hate you’ under my breath all the time. I’m frustrated because I literally have zero time to myself to do anything I want to do. Of course baby needs me, but my son comes to me for things every time before he goes to his dad. So I’m constantly being asked for something. I do all the cleaning, cooking, planning on meals, ensuring we have stock of all essentials (diapers, formula etc.), wash every bottle, boil all the water for said formula, handle all finances. I literally do everything. It drives me crazy that he can’t just pick up things and put them away. If I left something out on that counter who knows how long it would take for him to put it away. It just drives me insane. He just doesn’t take the initiate for things and I’m always making decisions because if I didn’t do it nothing would get done.The resentment is because my husband has an obsession with some video game and claims he needs this time to play his game in order to not go crazy. Well, what about me? I have nothing. I know part of this isn’t his fault .. if we weren’t in isolation I’d be seeing friends and family, going out and about and being able do some things for me. I get it, it’s not his fault. But not once has he put baby to bed or gotten up with her in the night. So, when I get up at 10:30,1:30 he’s still playing his fucking game and I hate him for it. I should maybe, just maybe be allowed to sleep during one of these feeds and he deals with it, but no. His precious fucking ‘alone time’ is so important. For the first month we had babe sleeping in her swing until she started stirring and then he’d bring me to her, but that doesn’t create good sleeping habits, nor is it safe so I put that to a stop. Now, I spend sometimes almost 2 Hours to get her to finally settle for the night, maybe spend 30 min watching a show and then I NEED TO go to bed just to make sure I can get some sleep in before she wakes up. What pisses me off is when he says ‘she’s asleep, enjoy your alone time.’ Ya dude, my maybe 30 min while you stay up and play for stupid game. I have to go to bed because unlike you, I have to prepare for a potentially brutal night. And then, he has the audacity to complain that HES TIRED .. com’on. Don’t complain to me when you make that choice to stay up instead of having the luxury of actually being able to get a decent night sleep. On top of all of this, we have basically a loveless relationship. No sex, no time spent together. We literally just live in a house together But spend no time as a couple. Last night he said ‘ we should really start thinking about what it looks like to parent separately’ for the first time I said ‘fine.’ he’s said this to Me countless times before but this was the first time I actually agreed with him, instead of trying to ‘fix our problems’ which I always do. I’m always the one to say sorry and try to mend whatever fight we just had.I’m just so fed up with him. He has this desire to be ensure that he feels like we are equals when it comes to what we do for the household or our family, and it’s just not accurate. I know he had a fucked up childhood and I sympathize with that, but I don’t understand why he needs to prove that he just does so much for this family, or needs to ensure that I appreciate every little thing he does. It’s like every time he does one thing he needs a pat on the back. Imagine I needed that shit every time i did something? It would be non stop.Not sure what I need here but I needed to get this off my chest. I’m so fed up with this competition between us as parents, on top of everything else I’ve mentioned. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Y5c8Fx
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