If you don't spank, how do you deal with constant defiance?

I don't spank. And my children have gotten more and more defiant. Tonight for example, I tell 7 yr old to go to bed. She continues to play. I tell her she must go to bed, she will be too tired in the morning. She walks to the cupboard, in front of me, and gets out a piece of paper and tells me she is drawing a picture. I take her by the hand and walk her to her room. Within minutes of me walking away, I hear her back downstairs playing. I go get her again and tell her she has to go to bed. She acts like my voice never happened and keeps playing and even tells me about what she is drawing. I tell her she has to go to bed. Again..more and more and more....finally, at 9:30pm, I spank her. And she goes to bed, finally. My husband is all angry with me. But what else can I do? This is an every single night thing. Well, the spanking was a first, but the defiance is an every single day sort of thing.​Another...I took the kids to the water park a few days ago. The 9 yr old decided he did not want to go when it was time to go. He took off and hid. I am not kidding. Every time I would find him, he would jump in to the nearest body of water that would take him further away. It actually took over an hour from when I told him it was time to leave (he had been given plenty of warning) until he finally left. And by that point, I got in trouble from staff at the pool for his bad behavior. We left and all he could talk about was when he would come back. I even had a card for playing in the arcade but we had to leave without playing because he used up all the time we had left running away. He was never spanked, but I think maybe if we did spank, we would not be dealing with these situations, all..the ....time.​Please don't be snarky and attack me over this. I need specific suggestions for discipline and help. Most parents I know actually spank and I am tired of hearing how "all that boy needs is a good spanking and he won't treat his mother like that again." and "you are going to regret refusing to spank them when they are teens and even more out of control." via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2V93S7e