A couple of years ago, when my 4 year old was really small there was a blog post that went viral that talked about not making your kids share. I remember reading it and deciding it wasn't a good fit for my parenting style and moving on. A couple of times since then, I've run into parents that tell me that don't make their kids share ("Did you read that blog post?! It's so great!") and I've just politely said, "oh, that's cool. I do make mine share but it's fine if you don't". Honestly, we're all trying to do the best we can so different parenting ideas are cool by my book.Until last year when I made friends with a family that doesn't make their only child share anything. This means, on play dates at their house, my daughter and I have been left sitting on the couch bc my friends son (Alan) doesn't want to share any of his toys. My response to my daughter (Kelly) was always "Some kids don't want to share and that's okay. You can't change that but we can sit here and have fun anyway." After that visit, we haven't done many play dates. It was just too stressful. My daughter is a crazy love bug and Alan hates to be hugged. I've repeatedly stressed to her that we need to honor people's requests for no touching and no hugs and it's not a rejection of her but some people just don't like to be hugged, I think she feels rejected. Alan obviously didn't like my daughter and was not nice. His parents will passively say things like "Alan! That's not nice!" And he may rephrase or he may just kind of mumble something and look away. When we'd arrive he'd yell a list of rules to my daughter (most of which she doesn't do anyway) and then half the time he'd loudly decide he doesn't want to play with her (I'm guessing bc he would feel pressured to share?).Kelly just started bringing her own toys and would tell me, "Don't worry, mom, I'll still share with Alan even if he won't share with me."Yesterday we were at a party, and and Alan was there. When we got there the kids were playing with tubs of sand at the table. Kelly asked if she could play too so Alan's mom put a chair next to his and Kelly climbed up. Alan immediately pushed the tub away from Kelly. I'm not sure if anything was said but Kelly started crying and I just told her that she could have a turn later. The other mom put a chair by her son who happily shared his tub. Alan and his mom left early and when my daughter finally noticed and asked me where he was I told her "Alan and his mommy left" and Kelly said "PHEW!"Has anyone else come across this type of "no sharing" parenting strategy? I asked Alan how school was going and if he had made a lot of friends and he just said "No." I feel bad for the kid bc it seems like if he doesn't have to share and he doesn't have to be nice if he doesn't feel like it is back firing on him. I think he does have successful play dates with other kids though (I know his mom has had them, at least). I'm pretty sure his parents blame their son's disdain for Kelly on her so who knows? I've told Kelly that it's a good time to learn that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay but I still feel bad that she feels bad, you know? Is this a pretty typical thing for 4 year olds to deal with?TLDR: Friend doesn't make their kid share if he doesn't feel like it. Kid treats my daughter poorly. I'm wondering if this is normal for 4 year olds. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2mjBmxX
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