How to stand up to Grandma with your baby involved

I've had a bad relationship with my mother due to her cheating on my father and constant emotional abuse/manipulation growing up. I'm not going to go too in depth, but things like refusing me to socialize with friends in the neighborhood or in high school because I could be raped and killed any moment. Ignoring me constantly to play WoW to the point I'd be picked up late from school because she was in a raid. Kicking me out of the house for not doing the dishes for a whole night but she completely doesn't recall it. Etc. My thoughts and feelings were never validated and I still would not have any relationship with her if I hadn't had my son. I needed the financial help and she was offering. I adopted the mindset that my bitter feelings for her shouldn't come between the relationship she has with her grandson, but she doesn't listen to what I ask of her. Don't let the big, untrained hyper dogs in the house when my sons over, don't bad mouth my dad in front of me or my son, don't feed him any new foods without asking me first. 3 little rules that's she's broken. I hate that I still feel like this weak little girl when I'm around her whose feelings don't matter and I need to stand up for myself but I don't know how. My boyfriend can't stand it and wants to say something to her, but I'm worried she'll play the victim card and call up the entire family stirring up drama for me that I just can't handle. It's more about me asserting myself finally to my mother especially in regards to the welfare and raising of my son. She only see him once a month because of how she acts. Advice?I know blood is important, but when they don't treat you with respect and give you the minimum of care, do I have to love them and put up with their antics? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2qkmFJ9