Ideals not being reciprocated

Hi everyone. I was hoping to maybe get some advice on some suggestions around a coparenting situation. My ex (27) and I (28) separated about a year ago and have a 2 year old daughter.Initially we decided that we were going to do everything we had to for Our daughter, putting her ahead of all other qualms. Growing up in a really close family, I really put family events and get togethers at the forefront of importance when it comes to making sure my daughter is available. I don't make any distinction between families, as I really find it important that my daughter know BOTH of our families. I've even stated that if my ex couldn't attend an event, but still wanted our daughter to go, I would drive her to the event myself.I'm not unrealistic here - I understand things come up last minute, a car breaks down, this or that, but the intent of trying to make it work, and having true flexibility is the name of the game for me.Somewhat recently, my ex asked to take my daughter out of town on one of my weekends to go see her extended family 3 hours away. They had things planned Friday/Saturday/Sunday and would be coming home at 3:30 that Sunday. Back to my mantra about flexibility - I worked out a compromise about switching weekends with her. A week or two after that, and a week or two before her trip, a family picnic was planned on my side for 6:00 on Sunday and I thought it would be really cool if my daughter could come as well! I got on the phone and asked my ex "Hey do you think it would be cool if you left 30-40 minutes sooner for your trip home so that our daughter can attend a family picnic" to which I received a response of "nope won't happen" I asked if she could come a little late for a while and was told "I'm going to be really tired after the trip."This wasn't the only example. While I strive to make sure she attends all of my ex's family events, trading whole days/weekends, my ask for even an hour or half hour of flexibility often gets denied with the reason "She can't attend everything!" or "She sees your family more than mine!" (Because I take the time to make sure my daughter sees my family when it's on my time as well) The conversation often delves into argument and I get the "You don't know how lucky you are, that I didn't take her away from you!" (She's dating a guy who says his ex took his son away from him in the split.... I know this USED to happen all the time... But I have a steady career, volunteer my time at the YMCA and Church, have never done drugs, don't drink, etc etc etc, I have an odd feeling she'd have a hard time "taking her away from me".)I feel stuck in a spot - I'm trying to "lead by example" here... trying to show her the importance of having TRUE flexibility, but I'm not getting through to her. I feel like she's taking advantage of my focus on doing what I believe is right for my daughter. I feel like I'm stuck between doing what I feel is right (yet allowing her to walk all over me), or to start denying her requests, which I worry will start a "death spiral" of trying to harm each other, in which our daughter gets hurt in the process.Have any of you had any experience with this, or can offer any advice for someone in this predicament? I'm willing to do what I have to for that kid, I thought by getting out of the relationship, I could get away from being walked on. I'll likely forever be stuck here trying to do what I can to make sure my daughter has a good life.TL;DR: Offer flexibility on time to my ex with my daughter, don't get flexibility in return. Get threatened in return and told to be "thankful for not taking my daughter from me". via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/28ZD9iS