I have three gorgeous girl beans. A two and a half year old, and twin 4 month olds. They are so precious to me but boy has life changed.I finally got out of a toxic, abusive relationship. I was yelled at, put down, bitten, punched and threatened (including with her own life). Even though we werent poor, I cheated the system out of almost $40k to help pay for her lavish lifestyle. I was so blinded by the hate that I couldn't see the love.By the time our first daughter was 1, we had moved 5 times to try and find a nice area for her to stay. Once we finally found a place, it still wasnt enough. 4 bedrooms, two living rooms, three bathrooms and a lawn.After she sexually assaulted me, we conceived our twins. It hit the fan pretty hard. The abuse worsened. We had to have a spa pool. We had to have the most expensive buggy, car seats, clothes and beyond for these kids.She threatened my beautiful twins lives twice before they were born and the twins could tell we werent doing well. So could our eldest. She started getting smacked and scared of mum.It all happened on miss 2s last day of daycare. I wanted her out after a series of abuse from other kids not only went unpunished, but encouraged to try and get her to speak up for herself. The irony is strong, and I realise now what was going on.I was diagnosed with psychotic depression half way in to the twin pregnancy. No wonder, said my lawyer, who ensured I would have every protection given to me by law. Everybody started asking why I didn't get help earlier. I was gobsmacked. You mean it's okay to talk to helplines? I thought those were for people who were slicing themselves. Hell she was doing that, and she didn't even want help. I was reminded just how controlling I was. When I said if she left, I would get the kids. She would say that the kids are all she had left.Now, now that I have the chance to parent and make decisions again you can bet I'm scared. But I am the luckiest guy in the world. My twins adore me and while I get it right about 20% of the time, they love me so much. Their babbles and their coos, the way they have strongly started developing because they know dad is safe is priceless.My two year old is the most incredible two year old you could ever hope for. Please and thank you, every time. Tidies toys, everytime. She is happy to say what she wants without a tantrum, because what she wants is daddy (or nanny or poppy) to play with. We would struggle, her mother and I, every day with her behaviour. Her mum gave me the bash because she didn't know how to cope with having her home from daycare. When I picked up my little girl and said "baby, you're coming home with daddy." She said "mummy stay here?" and I said "yes beautiful, is that okay?" "Yes daddy yay!"She danced in her car seat the whole way home. She is two and she knows she doesnt want mummy. She runs away whenever there is even just a phone call, because she doesn't want to be yelled at. She is happy that dad is happy and after two weeks in our new place she is starting to settle. We are starting to have so many joyous moments now that we are all safe and away from any yelling or hitting. The twins are developing beautifully (bar some scratch marks because I'm doing this with very little support and had no idea how to cut their nails or repair their skin) and I finally feel at peace.Being a dad is awesome, and while I face so much uncertainty I am ready for whatever comes my way. I love these girls and now I can feel it. Their mother? Well, after her family ignored my pleas for help they now wish they had of listened because they were looking forward to raising my kids. They broke down in tears reading the court reports and coming to me to try and arrange access. They're stuck with someone who told me I'd taken her only reason to live. Thank goodness. If that's where she is, then we likely won't see her again soon as she fails to do anything about her significant issues. Neither will her family, as they sit there to enable her to do nothing with her life.She had a man who loved her so much he would do anything. Well almost, because thankfully the line was drawn at giving me a bash.Tl;DR I'm a new solo father and am excited as I am scared, but am loving seeing my children react now that they are away from violence and abuse. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/39vtAoV
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