My husband slapped my daughter’s face

My husband (who coincidentally is turning 46 tomorrow) slapped my 6 y/o daughter in the face today. On both sides. He didn’t tell me he did it and I only found out when I was brushing her teeth and noticed red finger marks by the side of her ears. She has long hair, so normally those areas would be covered by her hair. I asked her what happened and she said “daddy slapped me”.I confronted him asking, in front of our 8 y/o son (they were playing lego in his room), if he had slapped her, and he said yes because she had kicked him in the face. (Earlier in the day she was throwing a massive tantrum that I couldn’t talk her down from and my husband had offered to help. I had left her room at that point and so he went in while I was already in my son’s room. I guess in the middle of him talking to her she started flailing in anger and struck him.)Nevertheless, NOTHING makes a 46 y/o, 180lb man slap a 6 y/o 40lbs child OK!I told him so in front of my son.And also told my daughter that what daddy did was wrong.She’s such a sweet child that before going to bed, she still went to him and said “I hope you have a good birthday tomorrow”.My husband then (kind of) apologized to her, but not before making a point to say that she had kicked him, making it sound like she might have deserved this.I’m heartbroken and furious. He has a history of bad temper and blowing up with the children. He’s done a lot of soul searching and had been able to improve a lot over the years, but the bursts of anger are still there and it seems it’s only getting worse with this lockdown.He’s otherwise a good father, we co-provide for the family, he plays with the children and is involved in their school life.How do I help my children understand that this behavior is wrong even coming from a person that they clearly love and also loves them? My biggest fear is for them to grow thinking that hitting is part of the norm when you’re angry and accept that from an abusive partner in the future. Is calling my husband out in front of the kids out-of-line and undermining his authority? What can I do to protect them?My husband obviously needs therapy (which he repeatedly refuses to go). I just don’t know what to say to get through to him.Please help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2wMeGgG