Up all night with baby who wont sleep well + Having to Work, wife wont help.

Hey All​First I am posting from a position of complete exhaustion....​Since my wife stopped breast feeding a few months ago, she has not once helped me put the baby to bed or gotten up once at night to deal with him if he is fussing. This would not really be a huge issue, I am not that much of a sleeper, however he wakes up almost every single hour still..... at one year old. The excuse is always "I can't get him to sleep, only you can". However she just gives up in frustration after a few min, when it took me weeks and weeks just to get him to sleep in his bed AT ALL. Right now our son will not fall asleep without constant patting on the back..... I realize that's my fault for doing it because at the time it was all I could do to get him to sleep. We used to co-sleep with the baby, but when he stopped breast feeding I made a stand that our son should be in his OWN bed, that was quite an argument. She is completely resistant to any sleep training of any kind, if I try she gets really angry.​I just want to get him to be able to fall asleep by himself, which he has never done, since the day he was born, until now at 1 years of age. Maybe I could get some rest.... but I am not allowed, because "he is different", "he is scared", "I can't listen to him cry it breaks my heart you can't understand because your not a mother". The last one hurts because it feels like she thinks his crying doesn't have any affect on me..... it rips me apart inside but what else can I do? She wont do anything. The few times she has tried to help..... I don't know what to say, our son will cry for hours after that because she just wont do anything the way I have been doing it. When he cries she will pick him up and marching him around the room, just before bed she will do loud and bouncy games with him, making him fully awake etc. When I complain she just says that I don't know what I am talking about then refuses to help.​I am now 2 months in without a single night of more than 2 hours sleep, quite a few with 0, I can feel it in my body, my head is throbbing 24/7 with a headache that just wont go away anymore and I am ALWAYS sick. I work from home, and my wife is always respectful of my time working and will for the most part leave me to it, but it has gotten to the point where I cannot continue to do my job properly, I can't even get up in the mornings anymore to talk to clients. It has gotten to the point that even if the baby does sleep for more than an hour I can not sleep because my mind is always waiting for that cry, mainly because if I don't wake up fast enough a. he wont go to sleep without a huge fight, and b. my wife becomes annoyed.​This is my day: Wife takes son about 7-8, I try to sleep, get up at 10 and walk the dog, eat, start work maybe half 10, hour and a half late, work till about 1, wife will usually have something to eat ready for me, back to work about 2 usually after playing with son for a bit, Work till 7pm with interruptions here and there, immediately start looking after son again, no break, my wife may cook, or I may cook, then getting close to 8 I shower our son, about half 8 I put him to bed, and the cycle starts again, 7 days a week.​I don't know how to talk to my wife about this. She goes to be at 10, and wakes up with our son about 7-8ish, well, in theory, on that last wake up at that time and I bring him to her she usually just says "Make him sleep again before giving him to me". When she does take him and I think I will get some sleep, nope, she will go down, feed him, then put him on the floor of the room to play while she reads a book, keeping me awake, play really loud children music down stairs keeping me awake, or just keep coming in asking me things etc etc etc.​Weekends come around, of course, each weekend I hope for a lay in, but no, just like this weekend, shes already organized us to take our son swimming with another parent..... at 10am, an hours drive away. Or she wants to go shopping.​Thing is, shes really loving, she plays with our son and loves him to bits, she jokes around and is playful with myself as well, its just like shes completely blind to the stuff I am doing, every discussion leads to disbelief in her eyes, that I am not really getting up 8-12 times a night to pat him back to sleep, she seems to think I spend the night sound asleep beside her..... I am sick of hearing "I'm tired too" when shes had a solid 8 hours sleep. If I try to take a nap she complains that I could be helping her look after our son...... while she reads a book on her phone.....​I now have to refuse to take her places because I am too tired to drive and am a risk of falling asleep behind the wheel, I can't work properly and keep costing my company significant amounts of money in sales.... and physically I am just sick, literally really sick. How can I get this across to her? If not that how can I help my son sleep better?​I love my wife to bits but I am becoming so angry all the time..... and she looks so shocked and heartbroken when I snap from time to time. Anything I do for our son is wrong, it must be her way, always, without fail.​Shes showing no signs of depression or anything like that that I can see......... shes fairly happy and upbeat throughout the day.....​​Sorry for this disjointed mess of a post..... I just don't know what to do. I don't know where else to go or who else to ask...... my parents live close by but they are really, really opinionated, like the exact time your blinds should be open in the morning opinionated, and my wife does not like them being involved because of that. Sorry if this post is in the wrong place..... via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2I802Su