I'll give a little background. This maybe long so, sorry in advance. I am currently divorced for 7 years with two sons: Son #1(27) & Son #2(24).Twelve years ago my eldest son, then 15, caught his dad having an affair w/a coworker (long story short: he was doing something on dad's phone and read text mssg). My then husband and I separated for a few months but got back together.Fast forward 3 years later (three years of driving lessons, sports traveling,vacations, Christmases...etc) and boom! My now ex comes home and says he's moving out and plans on marrying a family friend. Two years later I am divorced while heavily medicated and in the middle of a nervous breakdown (PA law-only need one party to divorce). Ex married gf and I moved out of state to work for a family member.Son #2 went to university but transferred to college to city where I live. He just graduated, working pt for company he's worked for the last 4 years, looking for job in his field. He pays me $25 a week to basically store his stuff & shower.Son #1 has gone to college on and off for seven years. He cannot go back because he owes the last school 1k since he didn't withdrawl on time when he quit. He has also worked on and off (mainly off) for the past 5 years. He had a girlfriend for about 6 months and she ghosted him two months ago (she lived in the other state). He abruptly quit his job (of a year) at a convenience store shortly after.He had an interview and was sure he was going to get this other job so he quit the job he had. He didn't get the sure-thing job.After a melt-down a week ago (after speaking with the ghosted gf, getting drunk and calling his dad for advice!) he is back to doing what he likes to do best...nothing.The house doesn't smell like he's smoking weed. Stuff isn't going missing and he doesn't leave the house so I rule out harder drugs. He's lived here 5 years and has zero friends other then his younger brother.I don't know if he has a mental issue (he has a very high iq, but doesn't seem to suffer from aspergers or adhd). He is becoming one of quintessential basement dwellers...without the basement.Both my siblings think I throw him out. He'll be forced on his own. But, when faced with that prospect he threatens suicide or some crimal activity that'll land him jail. I don't THINK he'd do either, but after the serious meltdown last week, I'm not so sure.I will say, I know I'm to blame for this behavior. I felt such guilt when their dad (whom they adored)walked out. I was there physcially but mentally I was gone for a few years. I'm mentally better now, but the years of giving in and 'letting him find his way' have caught up.He shows no sign of finding a job. He won't have money to pay his next month phone bill, and he doesn't have insurance on his car.I really, really don't now what to do. I haven't spoken to his dad since son #2 graduated HS 6 years ago.Has anyone been a similar situation? What was the outcome? Any advice is welcome. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2ELn0xT
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