Thursday 30 May 2019

Discuss issue with daycare worker or go straight to the director?


Hello all!TLDR at the bottom.I have a 20 month old who has been in daycare since 3 months old. My child has never been overtly affectionate, is not a cuddler. I never force affection, I ask and allow her to say yes or no for hugs or kisses. I want her to have body autonomy.Every day I drop her off at daycare, I hang out for 5 or 10 minutes and give her a few hugs and a couple of kisses and she's settled for me to leave. She's never had a tantrum or been clingy when I leave. When I pick her up, she's happy to see me, I'll chat with the teacher for a few minutes, asking about their day and my child's day. Typically it's been only the director there at drop off because I had always done early drop off, but this summer I've been coming at normal time and so all the teachers are there already.Onto the issue at hand: We have a newish teacher who's been in the classroom for a few months. I notice that when we come in, the teacher immediately asks my child for a hug. My child usually turns away or backs up into me. The teacher will say things like, "Aww, you are going to make me cry makes sad face/ fake cries." Or "Fine, I won't share my snacks with you today since you don't want to hug me." She has also forced my daughter into hugs/cuddles. My daughter is clearly unhappy with this. Squirming, pushing away from the teacher. Not wanting affection. The teacher just holds her tighter so she can't get away.When I pick her up, the teacher will ask for a hug bye. My child does not want to and reaches for me. The teacher has grabbed her into a forced hug asking my daughter why she's acting that way.I notice that today when my child saw the teacher, she did not want me to leave her at daycare. Was adamant about me not leaving/taking her with me. Tried to leave with me. Kept running to me. Unusual behavior for my kiddo.Should I address this with the teacher or go straight to the director?disclaimer there are usually two teachers in the classroom, the "assistant teacher" isn't always the same person so that makes me feel like there's more accountability.TLDR; Newish teacher forcing affection onto my child. Child hates it and is now displaying "clingy" behavior towards me upon drop off and pick up when that teacher is there. Talk to teacher first or go straight to director about it? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VWVS4N

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