Has anyone NOT “sleep trained” their child?

Hi all. I’m a bit nervous posting this as I know I’m not parent of the year. In fact, this is my first child and I don’t really know what the hell I’m doing. Maybe I’ll give a TL;DR before going into detail with my situation.TL;DR: I am in a one bedroom apartment and share a room (And often a bed) with a needy, breastfed 6 month old. Up until recently, he fell asleep in his side-car crib while I watched tv and relaxed. However, he wasn’t sleeping well so I have given him the bedroom and myself the living room. It’s been about a week with little to no progress. My anxiety is at an all-time high, and I’m wondering if I should just give up and let myself in my own bedroom again?That wasn’t a very good summary so maybe I should move on to my story.First of all, I am a 23 year old stay-at home mom with a general anxiety disorder. I am not medicated as I didn’t like what it did to me. So, I manage my anxiety by giving myself “my time.” Up until recently, it was time in my bedroom. I had a whole ritual. I would get my fuzziest blankets, my fuzziest pajamas, a glass of wine and some cheese, and would sit in front of my 55 inch tv and decompress until bedtime. I’m laughing right now at how foolish that sounds, having a 55 inch tv in the room with a baby. But maybe I didn’t want to admit it was a problem because I enjoyed it so much. Frasier is even funnier on a big screen. Sometimes my anxiety gets so bad from a hard day that I repeat to myself “Bed, tv, wine (or sometimes tea, popcorn, whatever), pajamas.” It was one thing I had for myself at the end of the day. My husband would come home from work and watch our son for the evening. It was my time.Well, lately our son has woken up at 3 am ready to play. I mean energy at a 10! The only thing to get him to sleep is breastfeeding him (because he still demands to nurse at least 2-3 times a night) and having his head on my chest while I gently pat his back. This often takes hours. So, we resolved that the big screen had to go out in the living room, and my evenings would be spent there while our son got the bedroom with peace and quiet.We will put him to bed around 7, we will usually struggle with “Cry It Out” until 7:30, and I hang out in the living room, until I’m ready to use my bedroom strictly for sleep.I am actually shocked at how negatively this has affected my anxiety. Perhaps you have to have an anxiety disorder to understand, but this small change has completely thrown off my evenings. I don’t completely decompress. I do not feel at ease. I want to be in my own bed for the evening, and being out in the living room is surprisingly stressing me out. Perhaps because it is less closed-off.What’s more, I haven’t been this exhausted since our son was a newborn. Seriously. I am a zombie. I am constantly fighting with my husband, we aren’t having sex (this is often the one thing we indulged in at the end of the day together), and the house is a wreck. If I was treading water before, now I am sinking.Even worse, sleep training doesn’t seem to be working. Perhaps his internal clock has improved. He will know when it is time for bed (about 7:30). However, come 3am, he is up again for play, or to demand me. Early this morning, I found myself patting his back for an hour again and wondering “Why am I doing this?” *If I could choose between not sleeping and having my bedroom, and not sleeping and not having my bedroom, I’ll pick the former. *I talked to a couple of my friends about this, who are also young moms, and they basically said, “It’s not worth the anxiety. If it makes no difference, have your tv time in your bedroom.” (Albeit maybe a smaller tv!) I find this advice liberating, but I don’t want to create a greater problem down the road. And, as I always worry, I don’t want to be selfish.So what do you all think? I know I haven’t given this new setup a long time at all, but I’m already coming apart at the seams. Though sleep is scarce, I was at least getting by before. Does anyone have any insight or helpful stories?I really hope I don’t come across as prissy. I don’t have any family nearby or friends I trust with my son. It’s just my husband and me. Though I want to do what’s best for my son, my anxiety often seeps into the next day if I don’t decompress fully. I love my son, but I need to take care of myself too, even if that just means so I can take care of him.Thanks for any insight! And please be gentle. I dunno if I’ve made any huge mistakes as a parent already. I’m honestly trying my best. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2RW36sK