TDLR at the end as this is likely to be very long.I have a child who is seven (almost eight) who has ADHD and is also on the spectrum of autism. It wasn't until about a year ago that the "official" diagnosis was given but we knew something was off since they were a little over one.To give an idea of how much has been done to help improve the situation, my child has been through close to 20 doctors, with each giving a varying degree of what might be going on and in need to help alleviate the situation. They now have three main doctors which include their pediatrician (who they have had since birth and gave us several different referrals for additional help), a psychologist for therapy, and a psychiatrist that tests and handles the mediation they need to function. In addition, we have fought with the school system to get them the additional help they need, to which they do have now through an IEP (individualize educational program) where they have additional help and services every school day.I preface all that to give an idea of how much effort is put in by both parents to get this child the best possible help and future possible. Ever since they were a little over one, it has been a nightmare being a parent to this child. Doing any kind of simple little task would turn into a trendous struggle and no form of disciple would work.Going to the grocery store with them was impossible, they would run away whenever given the chance down the aisle, and if they were put into a cart, the screaming, crying, and swinging/hitting would immediately start. Forget about going to a theme park, standing in a line was just like them being in a cart. I can't even get started when it comes to having to go to the bathroom, baths/showers, brushing their teeth or having to go to bed, all defiance. The behavior had gotten so bad he was almost kicked out of a preschool within the 1st month. It just so happened that at around the time, we had started a medication that seemed to help the situation at school, but not at home. Essentially if there was something that needed to be done or asked of, my child would find a way to make it as difficult of humanly possible and refuse to do it.By the time they were about five, we (the parents) separated from one another. The reasons (and there were many) for the separation are in no way in relation to our child, but it is rather a significant thing to note. We share custody and time is split as evenly as possible. The time in which I don't have my child, I would be lying to say they are not when I am happiest.Their behavior has only gotten worse as they've gotten older, and as they get bigger the swing from their arms, the kicks, the spitting and level of items destroyed at home becomes worse and worse. The only time they "calm" down is when they get to play video games on a tablet or a game console, but what am I supposed to do, just let them play games forever? Even if they get to play all day and night, by the time it comes time to eat dinner, shower, get ready for bed, it is an absolute nightmare.Last night was when I lost it, as it was the same pattern and behavior I had been dealing with all these years, every single day and night, over and over again. I was tired of trying to get them to bed at a decent hour, of making sure they were clean and well, of having been fed properly, of everything having to do with them. So much time, energy, money, and effort wasted away for them and for what??? For any little thing that I ever do for them to just be thrown into my face on a daily basis.There was nothing particularly different about last night from all the other nights were they acted terribly. They were jumping in their bed, throwing everything around, kicking the walls, the thing they do just about every night when it is time for bed. And I just snapped inside, I just didn't want to care anymore, I couldn't care anymore. My own well-being and sanity were being sacrificed so much for this child and for what??? For nothing, because nothing was getting better, it was just getting worse and was going to continue to get worse.That is probably really the worst of it and what I had already realized and known for a few years, that it won't get better. The psychologist had made the comment that with a lot of help, additional assistance from the school and also if we can get them an after school tutor, that we could possibly hope of them being able to graduate high school. "Possibly finish high school". There is no end for when they turn 18, this child, individual, is going to need a lot of help and dependency for the rest of their life.I just can't do it anymore, I can't go on with my life with this kind of burden, one that hasn't and is very unlikely to improve for the rest of my life. I get that a child never asks to be born this way, and a parent never expects for a child to be like this, and we as parents do what we can to try to make and give them the best possible. But it gets to a point that a person, no matter who or what they are, that they can not take it anymore and won't.And that is where I am now, I can't do it anymore and I simply do not care what happens to this child anymore.....TLDR: 7 year old with ADHD and autism since one, has gotten worse over the years despite countless doctors and medicine, can no longer deal with and do not care about the child. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2ETXxmY
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