First: I’m on mobile so excuse my formatting issuesSecond: I’m not looking to cut our family off, just looking for some advice on how to deal with them.For a Christmas gift I arranged for my wife and I to take a trip from the 26th to the 29th. My in laws were with the kids and my sister ran my daughter around to a couple activities. We thought things would be ok. Until last night when we got home.I know on my first post I got a lot of flack for punishing our 7 year old for sneaking and hiding candy, well I should’ve been clear, she was sneaking and hiding chocolate which my 3 year old is highly allergic to along with dairy and he plays in her room sometimes with her and I don’t want him getting it. So we have a no chocolate rule in our house. Well once again my family ignores it and my sister sends my daughter home with a big bag of candy. We don’t don’t deprive my daughter of sweets, and we asked that no one really bring anymore candy because her stocking was full of it this year.My daughter learned from last time about not hiding it so she put it in the pantry. THE WHOLE BAG IS FILLED WITH CHOCOLATE! We struck up a deal with our daughter and said she could trade in the chocolate for different candy or a small toy and we thanked her for not hiding it. She traded it in for a trip to Kilwins since her and her brother can get stuff from there.Now for the worst one. My MIL is old school Jersey Italian and I love her, but she really tested me. Our 3 year old has been potty trained since he was 20 months old. He can verbally tell you “dad I wanna go potty” and yes, it can be annoying for him to announce it mid movie or on a long drive but hey man, little dude must go. Everyone in the family knows when he’s ready to go potty.... take him. Well my MIL seemed to not grasp this and decided she would just put him in pull-ups and go about life. She wanted to shop and his need to go potty must have “inconvenienced” her because he couldn’t hold it and shit in his pull up. When we got home last night she was pulling in the drive and he ran to my wife who noted he smelled like shit... literally... so she asked if he forgot to wipe and my MIL said “No he needs to be changed.” My wife and I were confused because he rarely has accidents. That’s when we learned he’s in a pull up and has been using them for the entire time we were gone. Luckily he has been adjusting back to regular underwear and potty practices just fine. But this was ridiculous. She claims that a pull up is just easier for on the go because he asks to potty every couple of hours and when at the mall that causes an issue.Maybe it’s holidays making me even crazier than normal but I’m living my sister disrespected us and sent chocolate to our house. Our kids have a great life and just because they can’t have chocolate doesn’t ruin it for them. And my son feels embarrassed for using a pull up and going potty on him self. We told him it’s not his fault and that he was still making us proud by asking to use the bathroom no matter what.I guess I’d just like to know the best ways to address this with each party.Thanks in advanceEDIT: I should add we definitely don’t do free childcare because we provided my in laws with our house to stay in we paid them $375 as well as covered any gas they needed and my sister drives my daughter every week to her after school events so we pay her $100.We pay because that reinforces what we expect from them. The kids know that just because grandma is watching them they abide by the set in stone rules in our house.And in the event we receive free childcare I would still expect our hygiene rules to be respected. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2AgNghx
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