I'm over my 8 year old

I've been over him for years. It's sad. Every night after he's asleep I tell myself tomorrow is going to be better. I just need to be more patient, he's just a young child trying to figure out his place in the world/ family/ etc. He can be the sweetest, most caring child. He really wants nothing more than to be loved and played with 90% of the time. Then there's the other 10%.This 10% behavior consumes all of my feelings toward him. He can never be wrong. He will fight to no end to "prove" he is right. He lies about what he has and hasn't said. We've resorted to having cameras around so we can show him undeniably what had been done or said. When shown he just shrugs his shoulders like, "oh well." He's done thousands of dollars worth of damage to things/ house/ the car while mad. When he's feeling bad he will do anything to bother me. He can never do anything without weighing what the consequence is for not doing it. Everything is a struggle. He loves to harass his older brother. His older brother is very sensitive and can't handle the teasing and either starts beating him up or crying (usually both). My family life is awful because of him (I'm sorry to say this- it's because of my reaction to him). I really want a calm family life but have no idea how to get there.We've tried therapy (yes, i know it's a long road) it really doesn't seem to help. I've tried 3 different therapists. The pediatrician is aware of the issues and he says it's over his abilities. We've been to a psychiatrist who tried to medicate him. He walks around like a zombie on the meds. We've tried 2 different ones. He refuses to take the medicine. There is nothing i can do to get him to take it plus i feel terrible watching him be like that. I've looked into military school. He's too young. I've looked into intensive mental health programs but don't qualify (yet)...I need to try the medicine route first for insurance to cover it. I don't know how to explain he just won't take it.I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. I feel so alone. Part of me thinks I'm raising a psychopath. Part of me thinks if I knew how to handle him better he won't become a psychopath or drug addict. I keep thinking if i had the right strategy something might get through to him. So far nothing has worked. I do love him. I want this madness to stop. I want to like being with him. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VeFsFG