Disagreement regarding my parents parenting style

For a Christmas present this year my parents decided to take my son (4 years old) to Disney on Ice. My brother who is visiting decides to go as well. It’s a 2 hour show with a 20 min intermission. My brother tells him he can get whatever he wants- his treat (my husband and I would never do or say this ever) Apparently during intermission my son asked for cotton candy. My brother says sure, my mom tells him no. Temper tantrum starts. I wasn’t there but apparently during intermission they are just hawking all this fun overpriced junk to the audience. Cotton candy is literally passing over my sons head etc. He was sad, cried for a couple minutes, and got over it. My Dad keeps bringing up this tantrum and my son kept getting upset every time he mentions it (he’s still bummed he didn’t get cotton candy.) My parents are great, but my dad is awful at bringing up negative situations over and over again. Finally I had to tell him to STOP bringing it up and to focus on the positive when talking to my son- like how much fun today was and how they saw Mickey etc. My dad gets defensive and tells me that “apparently he can’t say anything any more.” This was last night. My dad calls me this morning and mentions the tantrum AGAIN. He says he is worried that the tantrum ruined his whole day. I tell him it didn’t, but please stop mentioning it. He gets defensive and hangs up. I don’t want my dad to think I’m not thankful, part of this brings up feelings about how my father used guilt to parent. How we “ruined” vacations or dinners etc. and will STILL bring them up 30 years later. I love my parents, they are great, but how do I get the message across to my dad I don’t want to parent like he did without insulting him or thinking we treat our kids like a “snowflake.” I honestly think my brothers issues with depression and anxiety may have stemmed from how my dad reacted to things when we were kids. I don’t want that for my kids. I feel bad that my dad is insulted though especially because we are very thankful for everything they do for us and our kids. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2SpGtJf