Just wondering why my ex had to take my son from me

My ex and I have 2 kids together. The youngest is not mine. I did not know this until he was 8. She cheated on me, she had a feeling he wasn’t mine, but never mentioned it until my wife got pregnant. This pissed my ex off for some reason despite the fact that ex is married and has a kid with her husband.Anyway, she insists on getting DNA tests done. The kid is in fact not mine, she contacts the “real” dad and they’re all smiles. I’m stripped of my rights as his father since we were never married and it was proven that he wasn’t mine.It hurt. A lot. I love my son. And yepp, he’s my son. Sorry Ex, DNA isn’t changing that.Time goes on. She gets over being pissed at me for having a child with my wife and lets me continue to see my son. The happily ever after with the real dad fades.But it’s not the same. I get NO holidays with him. I get NO guaranteed time. I get NO say in any decisions made regarding his health and well being. It fucking sucks.I’m treated like a babysitter. I only get my son when the ex doesn’t want him. When my daughter visits, I have to beg their mom to let my son come too. Hell, I have to beg to get info on when his next soccer game is.I just want to be his dad. That’s it. His real dad wants nothing to do with them so now he’s left with no stable father in his life. Just me who is sometimes allowed to be involved. Oh and his step dad who “breaks up” with ex every other week and occasionally hits her. Very loving guy /sThe holidays were really rough. This was supposed to be my year to have the kids for Christmas but nope, I only got to have my daughter over. Haven’t seen my son in weeks and I have no clue when I will. I didn’t even get to see him open the presents I bought.We live in a fairly small town and see old friends and acquaintances all the time in public. It kills me inside when someone asks where he is when they see me with just my daughter. I want to say “your guess is as good as mine!” But I just smile and say “with his mom”.Not sure where I’m going with this but I’m just not feeling good tonight. I remember one New Years Eve before I was married, it just me and my 2 kids. We drank sparkling cider, popped confetti shooters, and made funny glasses out of construction paper and crayons. It kills me that I will never get a night like that back.At most, I’ll get to celebrate a week later when ex decides she wants a break from him.Happy New Years to ya all! Hope yours is better than mine. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2BQbTS9