I'm raising my little brother as our mother abandoned us. Now she's back and upset that he doesn't call her "mom".

I'm 31 and my brother is 15. When I was 19 and him only 3 years old our mother left us telling us that she needs to go soul searching after our father had died. She said it will take only a few weeks. She left, after a few weeks she called and said she needs a couple of months. She disappeared and we never heard from her again.I continued to take care of my brother. After a few years I petitioned to legally adopt him and I was granted that. It was very difficult but after a few years we were doing ok and I didn't want our mother to show up and screw with our lives. Both me and my brother who was just a little boy felt serious abandonment as we lost our father and our mother left us. But we had each other.Recent years has been good. I'm now married and my husband has a great relationship with my brother and my brother and I have our own relationship which is somewhere in the middle of being mother-son and older sister and little brother. We're all happy with things.However our mother had reappeared in the past few months. Apparently her soul searching is finally over and she came to me to "collect" her son and start a "mother-daughter" relationship with me. She felt like everything will be just as they were when she left us.Needless to say she was upset about the adoption. She was also mad that I was married (what the hell...) and brought a man into my brother's life.So she talked to him and he wasn't enthusiastic. She said she's his mom but he said she's not. Their conversation got a little heated and at one point my brother told her that she's just the person who popped her out and nothing more. My mother pointed at me and said I haven't taught him manners (yeah...), she said he has to be disciplined but I intervened and told her that I'm the only person who gets to make decisions about disciplining him and told her to leave our house.I don't know what my mother has been up to all these years but I won't allow her to just come and make decisions for him like that. I don't want to be a complete asshole to her either, or deny her a chance to start over but I need the right way to navigate this issue making sure that my brother is kept safe and protected. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dRWngG