Is my daughter the victim of trauma?

I know I’m going to be judged by this but that is fine. I want solutions. My daughter is now 3. I’ve been a horrible mom until she was 2. She was extremely needy and I couldn’t handle it. I was also fighting with my husband a lot because he was not helping and had a lot of expectations of me. The house was never clean enough and yet he would never be willing to do anything around the house because he believed the breadwinner shouldn’t have to do any of it. During the first weeks of my daughter’s life my husband would come home from work complaining that the diaper genie was full and that it stunk. I was so angry with him and we fought on a weekly basis. Lots of screaming. He didn’t want me to go out with the baby like many moms do to relieve stress. I felt stuck much of the time. By the time my daughter was 1 she was always so clingy, and I couldn’t put her down without her crying. Sometimes I would yell at her simply because I couldn’t handle it. When I took her to mommy and me activities she clung to me much more than the other babies.I feel horrible, thinking I may have caused her neediness. It was the worst from 1-2. I enrolled her in nursery school to get a break and she would cry at drop off more than anyone else. I worked hard to be a good mom when she wasn’t in school. School was only a couple days a week just 3 hours a day. So I had her most of the time. There wasn’t much to do where we lived but I tried my best to find activities to do and not just watch tv. It was always hard because my husband didn’t believe we needed that many toys even though we had the money to buy them. I realize now that his understanding of childcare was lacking and that I should have fought more to get what my daughter needed. Because we didn’t have much around the house I felt desperate at times, struggling on a daily basis to think of things to do and not go crazy with boredom. But it was really difficult to argue when I wasn’t the breadwinner. I still am not the breadwinner but I have argued enough to get my point across and I am finally in a place where I feel like I am being heard. We have since moved and there is a lot more to do, plenty of parks and activities, and I feel that as a family we are in a much better place.But my daughter is now 3 and I worry that it’s too late. She is now in school 5 hours a day because I know that is where she will have the most stimulation, but every morning she clings to me. She doesn’t cry like she did last year, but the clinging worries me. The teacher ends up taking her hand to bring her in the class and then she is fine, but no one else’s child seems to do this. Have I effected her to the point that she will always cling to me like this? I spend all my time with her, and I make sure she knows I love her. I hold her as much as I can but it’s never enough. I feel so happy for her at times when she finds someone to play with on the playground and she doesn’t seem to need me so much. But I’m worried she has anxiety because I had severe anxiety as a kid, and so did my father.I believe my anxiety was caused by trauma but I don’t know. My father was slightly abusive due to cultural trends(Japanese) but It could also be hereditary. I don’t want my daughter to grow up like me. I have started to mark good days on a calendar with hopes that there will never be a really bad day again. I don’t ever want to yell at my daughter unreasonably. I know sometimes parents just get frustrated but I feel like I slipped up too many times. My daughter is much more manageable now, so I am not worried about becoming too frustrated. I just worry that the damage has been done. Is there any study that can show me that Its not too late and I can correct it? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35LeQBM