Hi just looking for advice, My partners mother came over on the weekend to visit our 6month old DD. DD sees MIL usually once a month. The visit started off well, DD is very smiley and loves being around people. DD gave MIL a huge smile while I was holding her and leant forward towards MIL with her arms out, so I happily handed her over. During the visit, MIL kept on trying to get DDs attention even when DD wanted to look at something else. Everytime DD would look around she would say stuff like, 'What are you looking at?' And would turn DD back around so DD was facing her. I was cooking at this point while watching MIL and DD. DD started to look uncomfortable, and kept on turning around to face me. MIL kept asking 'Why are you looking at mummy?' At this point MIL repositiong DD to sit outwards in MIL's arms to face me, but what MIL didnt realise was she wasn't looking at me, she was staring past me. It was like DD wanted to look away and take a break but MIL wouldn't let her whilst facing her so she turned towards me so she could.Later on DD looked at me again, at this point MIL said to DD in a 'joking' voice- 'Why are you looking at mummy again? You get to look at her all of them time' And again turned DD to face her.Later on in the visit MIL sat on the playmat with DD and started playing but she didn't put DD on the playmat and sit near her, she was holding DD closely in her lap. DD is rolling over at the moment and enjoying independent exploration so normally I let her move around and I join in when she looks to me. MIL was dangling toys in her face, calling her name over and over again trying to get her attention if she looked at something else. Once when DD was playing with a toy that MIL had not shown her MIL grabbed her hand and began doing 'round and round the garden' and tickling her. MIL did not seem to follow DDs cues. DD started to fuss a little bit then and I was feeling more frustrated and badly for DD who looked overwhelmed, so at this point I picked her up. DD cuddled up with me (she doesnt usally do this unless tired or upset) and after sitting with her for a while, I put her on the play mat and she started rolling and playing by herself.After MIL left I realised how uncomfortable the whole scenario had made me. I felt like I let my daughter down by not stepping in earlier. I want MIL to have a relationship with her granddaughter, but I feel that this isnt healthy. DD is a person, and I felt like MIL was treating her in way where her needs weren't understood and respected. Personally I think MIL loves DD and just is desperately trying to be loved by DD, and is somewhat insecure. I have talked to MIL about overstimulating babies (at the time I was doing circle of security and she asked me about it) and the importance of letting them look away and giving them space, but either she doesnt know shes doing it or does know and feels this is the best way to build a relationship with DD. My partner wants me to just let it go, his theory is that if she keeps doing it DD will cry and his mum will work out that it's too much for her. He would like to let her babysit, but after the last visit I am uncomfortable about letting her babysit until DD can say 'no' herself. Anyone have advice about what to do? Do I address it with MIL or leave it? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/32QK741
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