Middle school Halloween drama

TL;DR what should I do if my preteen daughter is trying to ditch her original Halloween plans with her friend next door because she found something better to do with a friend from school?My 12 year old daughter (7th grade) is friends with an 11 year old neighbor girl (6th grade) and they go to different schools. These girls play together almost every weekend and for the past few weeks they've been making Halloween plans together. Suddenly my daughter doesn't want to do what they planned. She no longer wants to do the neighbor's Halloween make-up and now she's talking about a school friend getting in a fight with another friend from school and lost her Halloween partner.Tonight my daughter told the neighbor she doesn't want to do her make-up anymore and wants to go trick or treating with her school friend. She told the neighbor she could go with her and her school friend, or she could go with the group of girls she usually goes with. The neighbor didn't give my daughter an answer (probably because she was upset) and it frustrated my daughter. She came home telling the story about giving the neighbor the two options and the neighbor brushing her off and not making a decision. She was more upset about this than I think she would normally be. I explained that her friend was probably upset because plans were changing but, as long as she made it clear that she wanted the neighbor to join them too she should be fine and to just give her time to digest the changes and make a decision. Apparently my daughter is wanting an immediate answer and begins to cry. Teenage emotions gets the best of her and it escalates to my daughter just saying she's making plans with the girl from school since she can't get an answer from her friend tonight. I tell her that's fine, as long as she makes it clear to her school friend that there's another friend that might be with them too.As she's texting the school friend about the plans, I asked to see the phone to make sure the details like time/place are clear since we've had instances where she misunderstands those details when relaying them to me or her dad. She doesn't want to give me the phone, then quickly texts one last thing before handing it over. Cue red flags. I quickly look at the last message which said "there might be a plus 1 idk." That gets me questioning, why she's saying that so late in the conversation. I go up to see the start of the text thread, which she is trying to avoid me seeing, and immediately I see her first message to her friend "I'm free on Halloween now" followed by many messages back and forth with no message about her other friend that might go with them...until the very end right before I asked for the phone.I told her that I don't know 100% what's going on, but I hope she wasn't trying to ditch the neighbor now that another girl was free to do Halloween. She blew up and now claims she's so mad at the neighbor and doesn't even want her to go with anymore because the neighbor couldn't give her an immediate answer. I asked my daughter let's stop the conversation tonight while it's still heated and we can get back to figuring things out tomorrow. While I was tucking her into bed, she starts saying she no longer even wants to be friends with the neighbor anymore. She's making claims that the neighbor is always rude, doesn't compromise, etc. This is only the second time she's ever complained about the neighbor in over a year, and remember, these girls have sleepovers and hang out every weekend.My gut tells me that my daughter is blowing up over the neighbor because she found better plans and wants to do that instead. I think she's exaggerating to some extent about the neighbor so she can feel better about ditching her. As a parent, I don't want her to be the mean girl but I'm not sure what to do in this situation. Do I force her to make sure the neighbor is included if the neighbor wants to be even though clearly this is not what my daughter wants. Or do I let my daughter handle the situation however she is handling it without stepping in even though she's potentially setting fire to her friendship with the neighbor. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2NrxIxl