I am really tired. I am so damn tired. No, I don't have four children or anything. No, I don't work full time. No, I don't have to be the single parent either. I have everything: a shelter, money, my partner, my kid, a job; but I am absolutely tired. I don't even know why I exist. I just want to curl up and I don't know, stay like that for forever?I had a weird day today. It started out just fine. I gave my daughter breakfast. We hanged out. I took her to open preschool where parents can participate. I watched her play with other children and interacted with other parents as well. Then we went to look at Christmas decorations (I know that it's not even Halloween yet.) And then we went to secondhand shop. Then we came home. All this took from 7:00-14:30. From 14:30, I started cooking.That's when it got too much for me. I had to cook and took care of her as well. We live in a big apartment where kitchen is a kitchen and living room is a living room - I cannot see what she is up to half the time but I always check on her except when I have to stove on then I need to turn that off before I check on her. I don't want her to suddenly come around the corner and start touching the stove. Nope.Anyway, I got annoyed. I started to get cranky. My kid wouldn't stop mumbling and I felt horrible for feeling annoyed because I just wanted to cook and get it done nicely plus tasty but I couldn't concentrate. She asked to watch me and I don't like being watched. She asked to play with dirty dishes in the sink (pretending to clean them) so I agreed to it because it's better than having her standing next to me near the stove and it meant I would have my eyes on her.Then my partner came home. It was like a salvage moment. I asked him to take her away a little bit so I could finish up dinner. Turned out, she had her toys all over and flour on the table, on the couch, on the TV, etc. You know, those untrustworthy silent moments from toddlers? It was one of those moments.My partner got upset that I did not watch our kid properly. I was cooking. I got upset too because here I was; trying to finish the food and having to help her clean up. He got upset that the food wasn't done in time and that the apartment looked like no one respects the rules. He pretty much said I let her roam free without giving her the attention so I might as well dump her in preschool.I broke down pretty much. I am tired. I am 3 months pregnant and having to take care a 3 years old most days by myself while he is at work. Does he help? Yes. He does help but he also expects everything to be perfectly immaculate when he comes home. Is that impossible? I don't know, maybe it is not and maybe I am just a horrible human being who cannot pull it together.I feel like that actually, that I cannot pull it together.So we discussed all of these things and we came to a conclusion: I do too much, I do too many things at once when it is not necessary at all. He has it nice with her only because he is at work most days and when he has his days off, he has it simple: cooking and being with her. What about the days he works? Well, I do laundry, cooking, cleaning, working when I am booked into work, and ultimately, taking care of a 3 year old.I don't know. I am just a mess at this point. Am I a spoiled brat who cannot be content with things? I feel like that but at the same time, my problem / my issue is in my head: I overdo things and I want to simplify things more. I want to have the energy and be happy around my family, not having my head up in the clouds somewhere. Imagine a traffic in India then you'd know what my head is like ALL THE FREAKING TIME.Advice? Please help. Calm me down. I am tired. I'm only 27 and I shouldn't be this tired. the hell :( via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2nCwZ3b
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