Last year my stepson let's call him "C" was tested for our school districts gifted program for his grade school. Out of the three ways to get in he was placed in the program based on his test results on the IQ test. He was happy, engaged in school, and an active participant in his education. He was consistently an "A" student. As a reward for his birthday his Grammy and his dad and I decided to get him a TV and a Nintendo switch. Fast forward to this school year. C has yet to bring home his science notebook that we are supposed to have discussions about. He forgets his homework and is refusing to participate in class. Refuses to restate questions or properly answer them if he does do his work. His sole focus seems to be TV and video games. (No I am not demonizing video games, my fiancee and I both play and love them, that being said they have exposed a lack of self control and possible addictive personality issue with C.) The TV has been removed from his room, prior to tomorrows teacher conference being scheduled the rule for the TV was all homework was to be done and checked, all chores done and permission given for the TV to be used. The remote was kept in my fiancee's and my room. C is teetering on a very slippery slope, his teachers are talking about kicking him out of the gifted program, and once you are in it and get removed for any reason you lose that privilege forever. I want the best for him. His lack of care and drive for education boggles me. In the last year he has changed so drastically I barely recognize him. I want to help him. Learning and education are two of the things our family values the most. Our attempts to right the course C is on have been unsuccessful. Right now I'm removing everything save for his bed, clothes and educational books from his room. He can earn his toys and fun things back after his performance improves and he shows he can be responsible. Now that was just for his unacceptable behavior in regards to his education. However lying- that is an entirely different thing it's related however it is the greater of the "offenses" to my fiancee and myself. My punishments growing up were writing lines. While yes that would serve the purpose of forcing him to better his truly atrocious handwriting. I dont feel that would serve in bettering him in any other regard. I'm at a loss. Whatever schoolwork he has refused to do / turn in will be completed regardless of if it gets graded, but that is not a punishment, that is fulfilling your responsibilities, it is expected to be done and forcing it to be done is not a learning experience. I do not know how to give him the full impact of how terrible lying really is. It erodes at trust, and without trust there is no relationship between us. I need help. I need help figuring out how to teach my stepson that lying is the only thing that is unforgivable to us, and the impact it has on relationships. (Lying to us is unforgivable only due to the trust that it widdles away, after trust is rebuilt its forgiven not forgotten.)I know that for a 9 yr old, it sounds like we are being exceptionally hard on him. We love him. We are fighting for him to realize the importance of responsibility, honesty, and his education. We are willing to instill those values in him by whatever means necessary. As I said he is on a slippery slope, I want to correct the path he is on. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2nwwpny
No comments:
Post a Comment