Marriage after kids

This isn't your typical "how our marriage changes after kids" post.Our kids are 7 and 5. Our marriage was great and solid and young and exciting even through the baby years. We worked together as a team, were really attracted to each other, had a lot of hope for our future despite the 2am feedings and trouble sleeping and pregnancy and demands of two really young kids.We are now getting "older" and I am having a really really hard time coping. I've gained 40 pounds in the last 7 years. I'm not young and cute anymore. I read a post on wholesomemes tonight about a cute game this boyfriend and girlfriend like to play sometimes just to be silly....and I broke down crying.My husband and I don't do cute silly games anymore or have inside jokes. Part of me knows this is inevitable; we are not kids anymore. We as people are more mature. I don't do silly things with ANYONE anymore. I don't have inside jokes with friends, etc etc. But for some reason I just cannot get over the fact that I'm getting old, and life is boring, and there's no excitement or enthusiasm anymore.As much as the baby years were tiring, I'm finding the grind getting even more fucking exhausting. I am not gaining any momentum as my kids get older and more independent. I am constantly overwhelmed and there's so much MORE I have to do as they get older. Yes, they can get themselves dressed and pack their lunches, but my kids still need supervision. I know that sounds easier than actually doing it, but for me it's not. My patience in life is already so paper thin that the morning routine just leaves me frazzled and feeling upset and guilty.We have swim days and PE days and after-school activities, then there's the library days and then the day where the TA changes their phonics books. Then there's home learning projects and dress-up days and teacher meetings and birthday parties. On top of this I also have to clean the house, which I am terrible at by the way, and plan dinner which I also suck at.My husband does help. In fact, he helps A LOT. I feel like he actually does MORE than me. Lately he has been packing the kids lunches for me and laying out their clothes for the morning. He also cleans with me and cooks the kids dinner sometimes.I don't know what I am looking for here. I am old and frumpy and no one is excited about me anymore, and it makes me sad. We are still in love and care for each other a lot, but I wasn't prepared for the shift that happens when you get older. I had kids really young so I guess I just feel like maybe I had that "young and free" stage really short?I also just saw a post on Reddit where a girlfriend made her boyfriend a really cute/clever birthday cake that coordinated with a funny birthday present....I don't remember the last time my husband and I exchanged gifts. I honestly don't need gifts, but I feel so guilty that I SUCK SO BAD at being a spouse. The thought of having to make a cake or think up a present to give is so overwhelming and emotionally exhausting, I dread it. And I was NEVER this way as a young woman. I would pride myself on what a good girlfriend I was. I would do all the extra shit to make a birthday or holiday special and memorable and thoughtful...not anymore. I'm fucking tired and overwhelmed and out of gas.Tl;dr: What do I do here? Is this normal? Are all 30-somethings just bored with life? I don't get what happened. Maybe I'm just THAT BAD of a wife that my husband just has lost all enthusiasm about me? Full disclosure--yes I have ADHD, meds make me wired but not organized. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Vzv7nh