Had a breakthrough!

I have a 3 year old boy. We are deep into the "big feelings in a tiny person" territory and it's been. Difficult to say the least.Many melt downs have happened and we have gotten to the point of huge heaving sobs and just awful. Trying to get him to take a deep breath to calm down is impossible because he just doesn't understand how??? Or doesn't understand why he needs to take a deep breath.In the moment I thought of something: Elephant Breaths!!!!What is an Elephant Breath you ask? Well you take a deep breath in, press your lips together and make that elephant sound of forcing air through your lips! It forces them to take that deep breath and let it out calmly and in a focused manner. It also makes a funny sound. We sometimes turn it into raspberries on LO's neck/belly/ribs whatever to make him giggle. He gets deep breaths and calms down, I have something to focus on (asking him to take an elephant breath) and we end up having a couple giggles if he's feeling up for giggles.He had a long weekend due to a stomach virus plus I am changing schedules at work. Lots of change and weirdness in our lives right now and it's difficult for him. So he started to melt down at drop off for daycare. He needed an extra snuggle but was getting into the sobbing territory. I asked him if he wanted to do Elephant Breaths and he tried not to smile and did Elephant Breaths a few times and was okay with everything again. Still needed a bit of extra cuddles and reassurance that everything was okay. But instead of leaving drop off with a screaming red faced child being held by the caregiver, while he reached and called for me, and me running out the door so he doesn't see me upset he walked over to her and gave her a hug and said hi and off I went with no tears and no stress on either of us!Next thing! False choices! I know we talk about them here but I don't often see the how to give false choices. Especially for kids this age.My husband, bless his soul, figured it out. Possibly read somewhere on Reddit, or somewhere else online. I'm not sure where or how he figured it out. But give 2 options. Assign one options to your left hand, the other option to your right hand. Hold out your hand and lift it up and say "Do you want X? or do you want Y?" (Left hand is X, right hand is Y. Lift the corresponding hand up/forwards/whatever when you give the option that corresponds with it). We have had to repeat it a couple times sometimes when he's particularly wound up or upset. But in general he stops being angry about having to do -thing- and ponders his choice, then chooses with a high five.We have avoided meltdowns over drinks: "Do you want Milk shakes left hand or do you want juice shakes right hand".Last night we stopped a meltdown about leaving Grandpa's house because he wanted to play more hide and seek with "Do you want to leave now shakes left hand or play one more game of hide and seek then leave shakes right hand" He was able to "choose" how we left the house and things were okay.Please use these if they would be useful to you and your littles because oh. My. God. Have both of these made a difference in our lives since we started using them! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2HdDUHC