15 year old daughter has flipped a switch and has started rebelling.

15 year old has always been pretty good. Typical teen stuff, but always respectful and seemed to obey rules. We figured she was pushing some stuff and counted it as normal teen crap. She gets straight A's. We know she goes to parties and had a boyfriend for over a year. I got her on birth control and we always have had open communication. 2 weeks ago DH caught her sneaking back in at 2:00 am on a school night. She broke up with her boyfriend about 5 weeks ago and was snuck out to meet a guy friend who she told me she had a crush on. Her dad (I am her step mom) grounded her for the weekend from going out and limited device time. 2 weeks later we went to a play on a Thursday night. (We have cameras for security. Have had them for years. Before we never turned the inside living room on unless we were traveling because we didn't feel there was a reason. Of course after the sneaking out, we put that one on. The outside ones have always been on.) While we were at play we realize she has snuck this boy in through our kitchen window. He also showed up on our backyard camera. He looked up and then ran from it. We were livid. We have a long standing rule that no boys over without one of us being home. We found a used condom in her garbage bin (yay for using condoms!) So this confirms everything. Again DH grounds her for the weekend and we back her curfew to 8:00 on the weekends for a month. Also all devices will be collected at 8;00 PM for a week. So now Friday night she walks out at 9:00 saying she is going to her aunts who lives a block up. She then calls her aunt and asks her to lie fir her because she is going to a party. Her aunt refuses and tells us. This child shut her phone off so we couldn't find her and stayed out all night. At 7:00 am we start texting her friends. Immediately her phone goes back online and we figure out she is at this guy's house. DH calls her and says get her ass home or police will be called. She doesn't leave. We figured out who owns the home and who the parents are and DH says I am coming up there to talk to John and Sara (parents first names, that we shouldn't know) That got her out of there and she went to her aunts. We have cut service to her phone, deactivated her bank card, took all her cash and deposited into her account. She is grounded from going out except to aunt and her grandmother's. Both live a couple blocks away. She is saying she is going to leave and we can't stop her. We are at a loss. We are going to make an appt with her doctor to do a drug panel. We took her to an obgyn last week and asked for an STDs screening, but the doctor refused and said they don't do exams on 15 year olds. Also did not refill her birth control. She has been flying without it for 2 weeks now becau6tge pediatrician stopped filling it. I assume she is due for a check up, but there was no warning. I wanted her to get it from a obgyn so it wouldn't be held hostage. It is important... also I wonder if some of this crazy is because the loss of her bc pills.We are at a loss. What do you do when a teen just blows up like this. There was no yelling or screaming. Her dad always stays calm and talks to her in the morning. Not reactionary. We don't feel like this is a battle we can lose but we don't know what to do. Feels like the hole is just getting deeper and we don't want to create unrealistic consequences. I was rebellious, but she has gone beyond anything I did. Also she blames me for all the rules. I have contributed ideas, but I stay out of it and her mom and dad have all the decision making power. Any help? I know there is probably no easy answers.Also we contacted the boys parents and told them everything. We have all agreed that these two kids are not welcome in each others homes right now. They were very upset too and had no idea. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2CyCsMY