[vent, not rant] Being a single mother is emotionally/mentally exhausting.

Excuse the flair--this is more of a vent.I'm a single mom and i'm drained. I'm young--early 20's. My daughter is almost 4. Parenting isn't too hard; she's not a trouble maker. I carry some resentment towards her dad. He's involved financially and he'll call her on the occasion when he's not working. But when he does have time off, he acts like a free man... just like a lot of other men out there with a child. His dad was never the best dad and his older brothers aren't good dads either. So I don't blame him so much since he doesn't know what a good father looks like. But he underestimates how hard it is for me to be a single parent. I think a lot of people under estimate what it's like being a single parent.It's exhausting not just on a physical aspect, but on a mental and emotional aspect. Parenting takes two people-- a man and a woman. A daughter's first love should be her father. I'm close with my dad and I feel like I wouldn't be who I am without him. I wish the same for my daughter because there are things that a father/male-figure can show her that I can't. "Raising a child takes a village" as they say.I'm not a vessel filled with infinite energy. I get drained. I go to school full time. I want time to myself. I'm sort of a lonely soul and I like being alone. I always have been. Having someone depend on me 100% 24/7 while i'm trying to keep afloat without losing my sanity sometimes is troubling. My God, I love my daughter...but it's so hard doing it by myself. I feel like such a shitty mom because my temper runs short a lot. My mom does watch her on the occasion (once or twice a month) whenever I want to have an afternoon off to see a friend. But it's still not enough. I'm still carrying the entire load by myself in raising her. If i'm having a bad day, I can't just sit in bed all day and relax. No. I have to continue with the parent duties by myself.I hate being this way because there are so many great single parents out there and I can't help but feel like a shitty one. I have no one. I feel exhausted carrying this load by myself.This post is probably all over the place and I'm sorry if it's not well organized. But I just want to vent. I have no one else to talk to about this. I don't want to let myself grow bitter in holding it in. I want to be a good mom. I want to have energy. But this load is getting harder and harder to carry. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Lnerhw