My Best Friend is Pregnant and I Want to Cry

My best friend just told me she was pregnant with her second child. She just started trying, and she seems to have succeeded. She hasn't announced publicly, because she just found out (and I'm one of the first to know).I'm so thrilled for her. Seriously, she has been my friend for over a decade, and we have gone through all of life together. Her daughter calls me auntie. I threw her baby shower. She was my maid of honour. She is as close to a sister without the blood relation as you can get.But even as I'm incredibly happy and excited for her, I want to cry. And I feel so selfish for how I'm feeling right now.I want to have another child. Originally, I wanted a good and long spacing between kids, but I am now aware that I want to have another before my son is 6/when he starts kindergarten (he's currently 3). However, my son is special needs. We are going through the autism diagnosis process right now. He is non-verbal, only having the word "no" and "dad" really under control. So because of that, we have put all plans on having kids on hold. It may never happen, if my son is always non-verbal.It feels selfish to want another child. It feels terrible to want to bring another life into the world when my son requires all of my time and attention right now. It feels terrifying to consider to have another child, especially when it's more likely they could be autistic too. It feels awful to be jealous of my friend for being able to have another child without stressing that the first will not get the help they need. I feel terrible for how I feel, but I know it is what it is, and I'm allowed to have this feeling.I don't know. I'm wondering if any other parents can relate. Because right now, I feel like garbage. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2uPS0Hq