I failed as a mother and wife and now I'm paying for it. I'm basically nothing more than the maid.

I know it sounds ridiculous but I swear housework and cooking will be the death of me. There are seven people in my house. Me, my husband, and five kids ages 20, 18, 15, 12, and 10. Out of all seven people, there is one who does ANYTHING around the house. You guessed it - me. And I'm drowning. I've been drowning for years. It's impossible. It's absurd. There's no winning.Do dishes before bed? Both sides of the sink are piled up to the faucet by noon. God forbid I skip even a single day, there will be no clean dishes to eat of off or forks to use. And then my husband will be passive aggressive and bitchy if he has to wash his own. Nobody will wash more then they themselves need in that moment either, so don't think someone will step up if I just leave it.Do laundry Sunday? It will need to be done again by Wednesday because we don't have many clothes...except the older three, who do their own laundry but wait until every single fucking thing they own is dirty. And this seems to ALWAYS happen when I need to do laundry. The three of them will be fucking racing down the stairs and fighting over who gets to go first with their five hours worth of laundry if they see me going for our hampers. Meanwhile, I really need to do laundry so me, husband, and 12 & 10 have pajamas and clean clothes for the next day.Cooking? Jesus Christ, forget about it. I give up. There is nothing on this planet all seven of us will eat. I've tried and tried to be a good housewife and cook nutritious, tasty meals. My ungrateful children and cave-dwelling husband won't have it. They are the pickiest eaters I've ever seen. I swear I tried to raise my kids to not be afraid of vegetables or new food but a lot of good it did. The 12, 10 and 15 year olds are still under my grasp and will choke down whatever I cook because of the 'if you don't like it, don't eat' rule and since they don't work, they can't feed themselves - but the older 2 and my husband? Nothing but junk food and fast food. The three of them will make entire meals out of potato chips. They'll straight up have a pack of cookies for sinner. They'll make fun of how my food looks or smells. They drink literally nothing but soda, all of the toilets are filled with ORANGE piss like chamber pots because their lazy asses never flush. The 20y/o has a habit of eating an entire bag of pizza rolls in a day. They buy a lot of food with their own money but besides the fact it is nothing but junk food, my husband will get into their shit so they'll get into ours and eat us out of house and home. So now it's quite the source of drama because the younger kids are mad their dad and the older kids get to eat good stuff while they're stuck with mom's boring trash cooking. My husband will walk in from work, look at what I'm cooking and say "I'm heading to [insert fast food chain here] want to come 18 & 20?" So I've taken to cooking whatever I want and the younger 3 will eat, which pisses my husband off because I don't cook for him...but HE WON'T EAT ANYTHING! No vegetables except mashed potatoes. Nothing pan fried. Nothing broiled. Nothing boiled. Some stuff he seems to just turn his nose up at for the hell of it. The list goes on and on.Cleaning? Please. I'm the only person who has touched a sponge, vaccum cleaner, or bottle of Lysol in twenty years. If I want a clean toilet to crap in, that's on me. If I want a clean bathtub to soak in, that's on me. If I don't want old food to sit in the fridge and become sentient because it has so much mold, that's on me. Every single thing. Because the rest of them would be happy to live in pure squalor and filth. The 20y/o and 18y/o share a room and it will without a doubt have to be professionally cleaned when they move out. Your feet will stick to the carpet. There's mold and rotting food and an incident a while back with a pile of used condoms under the bed. For a while, they just tossed their used pads/tampons in the corner if they needed to change them while they were getting dressed. 20y/o chainsmokes in the room with the windows closed. It's a fucking disaster.Everything is just so hectic too. Money is always tight. The kids are always fighting. My husband's always got his panties in a twist over something. I don't work so I don't have money of my own, I don't drive so I can't go anywhere, I don't have friends. The kids are disrespectful as fuck and talk down to me all the time and I've just given up on trying to correct them. The 20y/o will roll her eyes and tall to me like I'm 5, they call me stupid/dumb/bitch/whatever else they can think of if I ask them to help with housework. We don't act like a family at all. We don't go out. We don't have game nights. Everyone is off in their own spaces every night and my husband does nothing but watch TV from dawn to dusk unless he's at work.It's awful. I kinda can't wait until they're all gone. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MvhR1k