I can’t relate to one of my twins

I (33M) have 2 just-turned 5 year old twins born one minute apart. During their newborn months the youngest and I were inseparable and there was just a disconnect between his brother and me; but really since they’ve begun speaking that relationship has swapped and as the years go by the chasm between the younger boy and me grows wider.My interpretation of his behaviors are that he is a borderline pathological liar. He will not tell you the truth until you ask him a question 3-4 times - and I don’t mean questions to which an honest answer could cause problems for him just normal questions. What’d you do today? Who did you play with? What did you eat?He absolutely refuses to make eye contact when speaking/being spoken to. He is constantly using a baby voice and has to be reminded every time he speaks to use a big boy voice. But even as I type this I hear him in the other room speaking normally.I asked our pedi about possible adhd at his 5 year checkup and she said he’s a bit young to diagnose and 6 would be better. She said his tonsils are a bit big and the behavior might be being caused by sleep apnea so we’re seeing the ENT to monitor that.Even as I type this I go back and read it and think “This is normal 5 year old shit - what’s my problem?” My problem is that his brother is so different and more in tune with my personality that our relationship is so easy and genuine. I am CONSTANTLY suppressing thoughts of “why can’t you be more like your brother?”When the youngest is around I find myself rolling my eyes and scoffing and just being a mean borderline-bully asshole. My mom says he is a mirror image of me at that age. Well flash forward to today I hate my dad for how he treated me growing up - and I’m treating my youngest son the exact same way. WHY?!That’s what puts me in tears is I know deep down the damage I’m doing in our relationship and the lack of self esteem he’s gaining as a result and need to change. If you have any exercises or tips or ...fuck anything my son needs a better dad. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/364povJ