Has anybody ever experienced rejection towards their children?

I hate myself more than any group of words can convey. I cannot get over the fact that I ruined my life having children. Furthermore their lives are ruined because of me.I've tried very hard to do everything for them, a lot of the times yeah I was doing it alone while my fiance worked and lived away from us.I try to make them feel loved, included, validated, ...but it's just not there.They hate me, they disregard me, they talk me down, they have done everything so wrong to the point where something in my brain clicked off and just the sight of them makes me want to rage.I will never forget this past may, when my daughter was told to finish an independent worksheet for her schoolwork...and she snuck a butcher knife out of the kitchen sliced up my mom's furniture in the few minutes she was alone to do that page.But the way she did it....she came up to me injured... told me she found a butcher knife laying dirty in the counter and put it in the sink to be safe. No she slashed my mom's furniture.I don't know what is wrong with me or what is missing in my heart but it's just not there and I am at my wit's end.What do I do about these feelings? Mentally I feel like I'm slowly rejecting them. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2oAkaXl