Feeling a bit emotionally overwhelmed by... the fact that tragedy exists, really

Sorry in advance, but I think I need to write this down somewhere for myself, even if no-one reads it.So... I know this is absurd, but I think I need to come to terms, in some way, with the idea of losing children. On the other hand, what's absurd about that? Of course I do.My kid's about to turn 3, but ever since he was conceived I've felt as if I was kind of emotionally opened-up to loving all children everywhere, but the corollary is that I can't close myself off to the grief; just knowing that those horrible tragedies do happen makes it feel personal.It's not even the idea that it might happen to my own kid, though I know that would destroy me. It's knowing this is happening, and that I can't accept it, and that I should be doing something about it.Music seems to be a kind of compulsive trigger; I absolutely broke down when watching Hamilton (you know the bit I mean), and right now I can't stop listening to Nick Cave's Ghosteen (his new album, dealing with the loss of his son). I keep listening to it, tearing up, and feeling raw and open. Like I need to do something. Or at least work out how to process things.My wife asked me why I listen to it, why I subject myself to that pain intentionally when I don't have to. Music's different for different people, I suppose, and sad songs aren't a potential catharsis for them. She works part-time at a supermarket, and told me that a bit ago a man (something of a regular) came in with two young kids. The eldest, a boy not much older than ours, had terminal brain cancer. And...... shit, I wanted to find them, reach out, give him a playmate before he passed, some more happy memories to share, do something. My wife found it too difficult to respond to; it's not that she's unfeeling but that she handles these horrific things by avoiding having to deal with them.And I can't. I'm a placid, easy-going kind of guy; where she's passionate and volatile, I'm centred and stable, but this... I'm not handling this very well.Anyway, I feel a bit better for having written that out. I don't know whether I need to do something actively that's inline with my values, or just come to some kind of accomodation with or remove from the reality of things. I don't know if my attachment to literally all bloody kids is unhealthy, but I hope not. Eh, time for lunch. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2nWj9Jc