Need help for patience/anger issues

Hello,​I've never posted anything like this asking for help, but I am not sure what else to do. I'm married w a 3YO going on 4, and on occasion (few times a week) he wakes up at night wanting comfort. In most cases, either my wife or I will go calm him down and return to bed, but every once in a while something triggers in my head where I get extremely angry at the situation and lash out.​I either hit a pillow or punch the bed, which my son sees me do. It obviously upsets him very much which doesn't help the situation. This leads into a huge late night argument with my wife where I get defensive and say mean things. Everything smooths out. My son continues to show love towards me no matter what which I am now feeling I don't deserve, and my wife is getting fed-up with this cycle of me being this way, to the point that my promises of trying to control my temper are empty.​Ultimately, my relationship is now suffering (I hope it is not to the point of no return) and I am looking for advice on how others might have dealt with a similar issue. I just feel like a horrible dad and a horrible husband, but I get so reactionary sometimes I feel like I can't control these outbursts. Thank you. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2UPXspo