I thought I'd hate parenting less as my kids got older, but I hate it more.

I realised I made a mistake when I had my kids who are 16 months apart, but though it would get better as they got out of the baby and toddler stages and could sleep at night and wipe their butts and go to school.But no. They are now 8 and 9 and I still hate it. It is so expensive having kids. My career is ruined. My husband and I are basically roommates looking after kids. I love my kids but I really don't like them.I hate knowing my kids are those kids. At least when they were babies, they were not those kids.One of my kids has autism, and I have to be honest and admit that I am kinda embarrassed by him. I know it is not his fault and he is in therapy and all but I dread taking him out, I dread dealing with him. My daughter has a very challenging personality. I'm an introvert and she is a super extrovert with ADHD and Anxiety, and again, not her fault, but she's either being loud and hyper or worrying about anything and everything and it's exhausting. I don't enjoy her personality at all and found her so much easier as a baby. Friends avoid us because of the kids. I think they think we are bad parents because of how they 'turned out', but we did everything right.I'm still chained to their needs, still living somewhere I hate because it zones us for good school that is excellent for their special needs, working a job I hate, spending all my weekends and free time and giving up everything for them. If I truly knew what parenting would be like, I wouldn't have done this. I feel so heartbroken that it didn't "get better" like people promised and got worse.If I could have a no-harm-no-foul redo of my life, I would never have had kids and become a mother. I am trapped in a life I hate with 2 kids I love but don't like. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2nWNW8X