Essentially a 9-year-old baby

Hey everyone. This is my first post on here. I am very desperate.I’m a single mom who’s trying very hard to raise a 9-year-old kiddo (she’s turning 10 in January). She’s in fifth grade and essentially, like what the title says, she’s a 9-year-old baby.She’s had a nanny since she was born so I could cope up with going to college and finishing my degree. This nanny has been with the family since I was a kid so she’s essentially family. Along the line, during her younger elementary years, I noticed that she’s started becoming more dependent and less aware of her actions. Like she’s just passing right through her life. She doesn’t realize the importance of education, and of being independent. She doesn’t know how to tie her shoes, wear her socks, shower on her own, brush her hair, all of these simple tasks that should be muscle memory by now, but she doesn’t know it. And it’s all because the nanny thinks it’s faster if she does it.Now the nanny keeps hounding me on tutoring the kid even if my kid doesn’t even tell me if there’s anything due or if she needs to study something. Again, she’s very passive and seems like she doesn’t even care sometimes.I’m getting so frustrated because she doesn’t look like she wants anything else but to use her iPad (which I confiscated indefinitely) and play all day. She’s 9!!!!!! Can I just reiterate that?!I was planning to do a full weekend of independence crash courses like how to do things on her own and be able to just do things. It’s absolutely horrid and sad because she’s a smart cookie but is failing her classes because of her neglect.I also think the nanny’s babying her too much and making her dependent. I believe I’m at fault for letting it go on for so long and for not teaching her earlier on (nanny mentality coming from my mom). And I also think that she needs to have her own motivation to do things. Please help!!! I’m so desperate and lost and frustrated. I need neeed neeeed to help my kid! I love her so much and it hurts to see her struggle in life like this. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2oEnvEO