I previously posted about my current schedule, and lack of help from my fiancé in regards to our 15 month old daughter...I was wrong. He is an amazing father, and before I get any backlash for backtracking, let me explain.Yesterday, our daughter was hospitalized due to an extremely high fever, without known cause. She had no other symptoms besides the fever. So they kept her over night in order to do more testing.She’s home now, and thrilled to be. She doing great. Fever broke, and she’s ready to play again.But that not the point of this post. We’ve done the over night stays with her in the children’s hospital before, and as bad as this may sound, we definitely weren’t as worried about this stay compared to all the others. Yeah, high fever seems scary, but she was acting fine, and we’ve witnessed her overcome so much more.No, the point of this post is... that during that stay, I had time to process life as I had come to know it.1) New baby 2) Baby gets really really sick 3) Baby almost died 4) Find our that baby contracted GBS meningitis 5) Baby beats meningitis (1-5 occurred within the first month of baby’s life) 6) Baby begins testing for developmental delays 7) Baby suddenly seeing 6 different specialists 8) Baby get bigger and stronger 9) Baby is no longer falling behind, Baby is scoring the same as other babies her age 10) Baby develops more problems, resulting in more hospital staysSo on and so forth...Hospital stays were always rough. There was always so much going on, and we were constantly meeting so many doctors that I did have time to noice what I noticed during yesterday’s stay...My fiancé has always allowed me to be with our daughter during these times. Despite the fact that I am the “bread winner”, he has ALWAYS been the one who worked during these times.Not because he wanted to.I realized that this morning, when he woke up, at 5am after sleeping with me on that dreadful hospital couch all night, to go to work.No, he was always going to work... so that I didn’t have to.Because regardless of how much it may have broken his heart (and the heart break was always written across his face) to leave our daughter in such a fragile state... he knew she’d have to have SOMETHING to come home to when the time came.I never had the time to process this until this morning... as he kissed our daughter goodbye... I started to understand just how much he has had to sacrifice, as well.I am typing this from the bathroom, while trying to figure out how to detangle the knots our daughter created in my hair, because of how terrified she was of the nursing staff...In this moment, our daughter is lying next to her father, who didn’t cry out to me in frustration when she woke and began to fuss. (And while I fought the urge to run to her as I always always always do. )It took a bit longer for her to calm, I could hear that from here. She was used to momma always being there, especially at night, but tonight...I took a step back.And she did calm down.She did fall back asleep.And he didn’t ask for my help, he didn’t need it.So, though I get frustrated with our day to day life... And sometimes I wish I could have a bit more help... I can’t put all of them blame on him.I take it back.I was tired.I was frustrated.And I was wrong. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Pksciq
No comments:
Post a Comment