How to keep a friendship with someone who’s kid is out of control?

Okay look... I have plenty of friends with little kids that are around our home often. Hell, I even keep drawers full of juice boxes, fruit snacks, and coloring books at the ready. We had our daughter first (in our group of friends) so she’s 13 and we understand completely that kids can get nuts. No biggie. However, I had one very awesome friend that moved waaaay up north years ago and we stayed close because she’s awesome. While away, she had a baby but just decided to move back to town a couple weeks ago. Needless to say I was THRILLED! I got along so well with her years ago and couldn’t wait to see her and meet her kid (now 6 years old) so we arranged to have her and her daughter spend last Sunday at our house. Yay!Nope. Her 6 year old is a bit wild and that’s putting it mildly. I had the older kids (her other daughter is my girls age) set up with Mario kart and got a bunch of bbq and s’mores stuff so we could all hang out in the yard or the living room. I couldn’t even cook as I was on edge the entire time trying to gently tell her kid to please not rip pages out of my books, stop hitting our poor dog, eat the tips off my markers (ya can’t make this shit up) and breaking everything in sight. At one point I put out snacks and drinks on the coffee table and this short human looked me in the eye and laughed as she swept her hand across the table and knocked everything to the ground. My friend kinda laughed and just said “kids, right?” NOOOOO. It was all insane behavior. I was in shock and disbelief.So the dilemma. I would like to maintain my friendship but she’s been asking about coming over again with her kids and I’ve just said no each time. I do understand I need to let her know what the problem is but is there a kind and gentle way to go about it? I really don’t want to upset anyone but if this kid is gonna cause that kind of damage (and scare or hurt my poor dog) when she’s in my home, I’m VERY not okay with it. I should add going to her home to visit isn’t an option due to her family staying with her Ill father and we’ve suggested meeting at a park but each time she’s suggested coming back here afterwards. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2VvDqQS