ADHD 5 year old has recently started being aggressive and angry and I have no idea what to do. I'm lost

I have a 5 year old son who was diagnosed with adhd inattentive type at age 4. He has been having trouble since he started kindergarten, mostly with listening and staying on task. I had a baby a few weeks ago, and before that he had started hitting people when they would make him mad or not do what he wanted them to do. Since I got home from the hospital, though, things have changed and not in a good way.He has this anger inside of him that I have never seen before. When he gets mad, he gets nasty and mean. He doesn't seem to care or really understand that what he's doing is wrong. He shows no remorse for hitting because they didn't do what he wanted them to do. It's to the point where I am afraid to take my eyes off of him around his new baby sister.He is usually very sweet and loving towards her, but lsst night as I was picking him up from school and buckling him in his seat, he got mad at me and tried to smack the bottle I was feeding her, out of her mouth. That broke my heart as much as it made me angry.This little boy who has always been so sweet and kind and caring and thoughtful, is turning into somebody I don't know. We started him on medication, Straterra but we stopped it because he refused to take it and would act like he was dying everytime we tried to give it to him. That was a mistake. I think he genuinely can't control his reactions when he gets angry.My husband refuses to learn anything about adhd and thinks more discipline and harsher punishment is the answer, even though that hasn't worked even a tiny bit so far. So, I'm basically on my own with this.I do think he can't control a lot of this, but I can't take much more. He has been kicked out of his afterschool program several times this year. They are willing to give him one last chance, qnd if he gets kicked out again, it's for good. When I try to talk to him about the stuff he does, he will ssy things like "you don't like me anymore." "you think im an idiot." or "I did it because I'm bad. I ruin everything" I hate when he says these things. He's just a little boy. I don't understand why he thinks those things and I don't want him to feel that way about himself.I have tried to find things online to help me with parenting a kid like him, who has adhd, and most of the advice is not realistic. Positive reinforcement and reward charts and stuff like that makes no difference whatsoever. He wants to behave. He gets upset when he has a bad consequence for his actions, but it doesn't stop him from doing things over and over and over. I'm lost. I have him set to go see the Doctor on Monday, hopefully we can figure something out. He is definitely going back on meds though. Without them, I don't think he could stop this stuff even if he wanted to. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2BYjIpO