Suggestions for curbing disrespectful tone in younger children?

I have 4yr old and a 6yr old girls. They are great kids and very helpful, but they’ve recently picked up a pretty disrespectful way of speaking to me nearly all the time and I am having trouble putting a stop to it.Examples: “Can you please take your empty cup out of the car?” “UGH why do I have to do everything??”“Please empty the dishwasher while I am finishing dinner.” (This has been a chore they’ve done for years, I always do the silverware, takes 2mins tops) “I’m too tired! I won’t do it unless you help me.” (I ALWAYS help, but it drives me crazy to be spoken to like that).They often say they hate this or that or blame me for things like them tripping over their toys (“well if you would have picked this up I wouldn’t have tripped!!!”). The oldest has always struggled with managing negative feelings and her sister is mimicking that as siblings do. They never used to be rude to me like this, I am not sure what happened, other than maybe hearing that tone used by our neighbors children. A lot of times they use the same words I have used with them but the tone is different and wildly inappropriate. I have thought a lot about my own voice and tried to be aware, but I don’t think I am being disrespectful to them. I always use manners and I really try to control my reactions and make everything a team effort.I have tried natural consequences with my six year old like “If you speak to people with that tone of voice they do not want to help. If you want help, you need to be kind and use manners. I will help you when you are ready to be kind.” But she turns it around on me later in what’s usually a misapplication like I’ll ask her to please put her shoes away and she’ll tell me that if I make her mad she won’t help me. I know she probably does not fully understand what tone of voice means or why it’s wrong, and I am struggling to explain it at her level.TLDR: I would have gotten the belt if i had ever spoken to my parents the way my kids do to me, and so I don’t really have any great examples of how to react in a rational and instructional way since I don’t spank and rarely raise my voice. I am getting pretty tired of the entitled sassy responses in my own home to VERY simple requests and demands from them that are outright rude.Would love some suggestions! My four year old is much more difficult to keep on track than her sister, but I know if I work on it with the oldest she will pick up on it through observation. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2kOgxIo