Daycare situation: Feedback, thoughts?

Our 18 month old son has been at his 2nd daycare since March, 2016. The first one he was in was great and we had no problems, but we moved and he started in this new place. He started in their infant room and things were going fine (or so we thought??) and two weeks ago they transitioned him into their toddler/walking room. There has been the occasional feedback given in the form of him maybe not having such a hot day once in a while as I'm sure all kids do, but usually the caregivers didn't ever alarm us that it was serious or abnormal. It was usually some sort of "probably teething" response and it was never conveyed that it was a consistent and problematic behavior. He is our first... and although he did go through somewhat of a tantrum stage (which has been pointed out by many as being completely normal) he is great and happy at home.Anyways...I had been having some doubts about the organization of our daycare prior to this all going down. I had even told my wife that I wanted to go visit another facility just to see / compare what should be going on. Upon moving to the toddler room I was being told several things from several different caregivers about what to expect, what to bring, etc. etc. Finally one of them said they would make me a list... which I thought would be GREAT.Additionally, every time I went to pick up my boy at the end of the day the two main caretakers who had been there earlier were never around to talk to me about how he did. I finally asked for some sort of report, and they said.."oh yes, we have a schedule AND a report paper we can fill out for you." I thought... GREAT.The only "alarming" feedback I ever received about our kid was that he had issues transitioning... going from inside to outside, new activities, etc.. I started receiving reports and the first few were... "I was HAPPY" today.. etc... but I would also continually get these reminders about a few things that he needed in the toddler room which were never quite written on a list for us. It was like a new thing each day that he needed was all of a sudden sprung on us. (I never did receive a list from them.)So basically.. I thought things were going fine until I received a strain of 2-3 not so great reports on him. We went on a quick vacation, came back, and I then received a report saying he was happy again. Asking the caretaker he mainly was with, I said - "So, he is getting better than the last few days?" - to which she replied, "No..." and then she went on to say how needy and whiny he was and that it was very consistent. This was the absolute first time in 5 months that I had heard something alarming... so my wife goes in the next day to ask questions and we get a completely different response from another caretaker that says, "he just needs to work on transitions. nothing to be alarmed about.. etc."The next day, out of the blue my wife receives a phone call from the owner/admin of the daycare explicitly saying the following things: • He is a burden on the caretakers. • No kid is like him there..they are trying to figure him out. They don't know why he cries and is unhappy. • Other parents are pointing out that their kid is negatively affected by his crying. • A kid like this is the luck of the draw. • He really can't handle a full day, he should probably go to half days. • He has emotional issues. • He is unhappy and constantly crying. • It hasn't been just the last couple weeks, and she should have called us earlier.. it has been a long time.. (Again, against the reports given and way heavier than "probably teething" or trouble transitioning once in a while. Against her own report a couple weeks ago saying how good he was doing and that he should move to the toddler room.So anyways-- to cut this post a little shorter... we are pulling him out of the daycare immediately and visiting a new place on Tuesday. I feel horrible that we have to switch him but my wife and I have completely lost trust in the daycare when the owner/administrator calls out of the blue and basically delivers a blindsiding, negative verbal report essentially making us feel like we should leave without saying it. It is heartbreaking to me that this has all gone down like this, and now we feel like either the caretakers were lying to us about his behavior there or the administrator is just a complete ass with a staff that doesn't know how to communicate. It has also taken somewhat of a mental toll on my wife and I the last few days, and has made us feel horrible. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2uhQ9gT