3.5 year old kicking, hitting and throwing things. Today I spanked him and feel awful.

My 3.5 year old has recently been hitting, kicking and throwing things at me and my husband when he doesn't get his way. He also screams and will throw temper tantrums. I feel like his behavior is fairly severe and might not be normal and we have no idea how to handle it. I tried giving him time outs every time he hit me or threw something at me but that didn't seem to work. Then I tried ignoring it and just moving his body or hands away from me and asking him to stop that didn't work.An example: I wouldn't let him finish a long puzzle at school (daycare at a Montessori school) at the end of the day because we had to get home in time for dinner, etc. I told him he could play with it the following day at school and that we could do puzzles when we got home. For whatever reason that set him off and I had to carry him out of daycare. While putting his brother in the car my 3.5 year old (from inside the car but not yet buckled) started throwing everything he could find at me. And he chucks it! He actually has a really good arm and really good aim.Then when we got home he threw his jacket at me and then a wooden toy right at my head (it actually really hurt).So this morning..... I threw out my back last night and am in a tremendous amount of pain. This morning he repeatedly hit me because we didn't have blueberry waffles (his favorite for breakfast) even though we had ten other options for him that he also likes. After about the 5th time hitting me as hard as he could I lost it and spanked him twice. I feel awful. My parents spanked me and I grew up fine but I don't think spanking is the answer. To me it seems like two wrongs don't make a right. I told my husband right away and he was furious. We have previously both agreed that we wouldn't hit our children and I am not proud of my actions. I feel terrible that I spanked him. It wasn't hard and to be honest he wasn't that upset over it - more surprised than anything but I still feel terrible! I think I'm much more upset over it than he is. Any tips or suggestions for dealing with his actions and mine would be appreciated! I'm laid up in bed in pain physically and feeling awful about my actions. Also - I did apologize and told my son that I was very sorry and that I should not have done that and that I won't do it again. But I still feel awful.TLDR: my 3.5 year old has been hitting and kicking me and my husband and I spanked him this morning when I was at my whits end (also threw out my back which made everything more difficult). Feel terrible and don't know what to do a out his actions and mine. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bwVbM6