I need guidance from parents who have been on both sides - either having children with Autism, or just knowing children with autism...

I have friends who have two children, one 3.5 years old, and a baby. The three year old shows many of the classic signs of autism, and has for quite some time now. I've been observing his behavior through visits at least once a week. He does a lot of hand flapping, only plays with one type of toy (cars), and his speech is very basic, and mainly consists of mimick. (Me: "Xavier did you have a good nap?" X: "Have a good nap? Have a good nap??!") He typically speaks in the third person as well. A lot of the signs are there. His parents, while lovely people, seem to just be turning a blind eye to it. They will say things like, "Oh, he definitely got my OCD!"It's frustrating. We love these people with all our hearts, but as a friend, I don't know my place anymore. I want to point out that his behaviors aren't "normal," (I hate even typing that, it feels wrong), he's just different, and he needs the early intervention that I know is so crucial to kids on the spectrum. Again, I just don't know my place. I love him and want what's best for him, and I'm starting to lose my respect for his parents, who make excuses and just flat out deny or ignore certain aspects of what makes him unique. Can they really not see how totally different he is? (That's not a rhetorical question, I'm hoping I can gain some insight from other parents with children on the spectrum as to this "blindness.")I am at a loss. So far I've just been interacting with him the best way I know how, based on research I've done, but as anyone who has even looked into it a little, people on the spectrum vary so much (don't we all), so it's hard to know a good approach, I'm no psychologist. I need advice: do I follow the parent's lead and pretend with them that everything is normal? What if they do end up getting him diagnosed? I wouldn't feign surprise; would you be angry with a close friend who interacted closely with your child, yet said nothing? I feel like it's not my place, and I don't even have the right words of it even were. How do I sustain this relationship with this wonderful family when I feel like the right thing to do is advocate for this child? I think about them and struggle with this every day. Every time he has a melt down, or they lament his lack of potty training success, it just eats at me. If they had the right tools, the resources, the support from a community that KNOWS what they're dealing with, it could take such a load off. Do I risk their friendship? Please talk to me parents, I need advice. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2c9oG95