Hi, I'd like a bit of a sanity check on this please. The people in my life agree with me, but you know, maybe they would regardless. My husband and I separated in March last year. He had been going through some mental health stuff since his job ended in January, he refused to see a doctor or look for a job. He ended up hitting me in front of our child, then wrecking everything in our living room while the child and I hid in the bathroom. I moved in with my parents and he went to live with his friends. We weren't on good terms, but after a month or so settled into a routine of him me having our child the majority of the time since he couldn't where he was living, and the kid was in daycare Mon, Wed, Fri and with him all day Tue and Thurs.One Tuesday in June last year he decided an hour before I had an exam that he "didn't want to be a parent any more" and I needed to be home in an hour because he was dropping the kid off early. He did. On the Thursday he didn't show up to pick him up. On the Thursday night he called me while I was parked in front of my sister's house waiting on her to get home. He was immediately yelling about something, I told him I wasn't going to talk to him if he was acting like that and hung up. He called me constantly for the next few minutes, and I blocked his number. Apparently you can still leave voicemails when a number is blocked, because when I was done talking to my sister he had left three. They were all him screaming into the phone, mostly incoherently, but you could make out him saying he was going to kill me several times. I went to the local police station but it was closed (small town), I sat outside and cried for a bit, then I decided it was probably okay to go home via a back entrance to the property he didn't know about. I went to the police the next day, they arrested him. He spent 3 months in jail, where he assaulted another prisoner and had another charge added. He's been on home detention since this time last year, and he won't be convicted or charged for another couple of months. I hope that's enough backstory.We've been going through family court since he got out of jail. The family court has given him 5 hours of supervised contact per week, with a stay to bring the matter back once his trial has finished. It's so low because he is now an overstayer with no visa who may be deported if he is convicted. The parenting order also specifies that if he is deported he gets at least 2 Skype calls with his child each week. Him and I have had no contact since June last year. He has a new girlfriend and all my contact is through her. She's lovely and we haven't had any issues.He contacted my parents today to ask if they would meet with him, because apparently the fact I haven't contacted him in all this time means that I am refusing to be a good co-parent with him. There hasn't been anything that I would need to contact him about. The child is still in the same daycare etc. I'm not sure what I would contact him about? If he gets deported we would need to arrange a time for the calls, but that hasn't happened so there is no need to have had that conversation. I have no intention of preventing him from seeing his child. The child is happy and healthy and has a good, positive relationship with him. My parents have agreed with me that it's not a problem having no contact with him, and that they will just tell him that I'll contact him about it if/when the times. Thoughts? I want to know if I'm being blinded by my dislike of him and should be handling this differently for the sake of our child. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MSozeB
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